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Returning to work

Being a working parent does involve a change of lifestyle, and it can take a while to get used those changes. Even though you are back at work, you won’t be the same person who left to have a baby. But you will still look like the same person to your colleagues.

You will have to adjust to being a parent as well as a worker, with different responsibilities and different priorities. You may also be having broken nights, leaving you worn out during the day when you are expected to be productive at work.

That is why being organised and prioritising your commitments can help you. Stick to what is essential for a few months, and keep a diary of what you are doing and when. While this can be a difficult time, many parents find that their attitude to working after a baby is born is enhanced by a different sense of what is important. After being ruled by their jobs, some parents discover that there are other things in life apart from a career.

Preparing yourself

When the time approaches for you to return to work, there are some steps you can take to prepare yourself:

  • Start leaving your baby with the carer for short periods
  • Use the time your baby is getting used to childcare to prepare for going back to work
  • Do a dummy run to the office at the time of day that you will be travelling. It will give you an idea of how much longer to add onto your journey if you are dropping your baby off somewhere
  • Talk to friends from work to catch up on changes that have happened while you have been away
  • You may be able to ease back into work by starting part-time and building your hours up
  • Make alternative childcare plans in case you have a last minute problem. Think about friends or relatives who you may be able to help out in a crisis and talk to them now
  • Check if your company has a family leave policy so you can take a few extra days off if your child is ill. If not, you may need to reserve some of your holiday to use in an emergency

Preparing your baby

Your return to work, of course, affects not only you, but your baby too. For your peace of mind and for your baby’s sense of security, you should take steps to make the transition as smooth as possible. Remember that your feelings are likely to affect how your baby feels, so being prepared, calm and collected will all help.

  • Build up his hours with whoever is looking after him gradually, before you go back to work
  • If possible, leave spare equipment and clothes with the childminder so you have less to take to and fro
  • Try to prepare your baby’s changing bag the night before, so that all you need to do is pick it up and go. This allows extra time for that last-minute feed/dirty nappy/discovery of sick on the shoulder of your work clothes
  • Take some items that he is familiar with and that he can hold for reassurance. He may have a favourite toy, or a blanket that smells of you and home

Routines

It won’t be long before your baby adjusts to the change in his routine. Babies and children are resourceful and flexible. Don’t expect too much of him at once, and if he is clingy and whingey for a while, try to tolerate it. Once he is certain that he will get you and your partner back every day, he will start to enjoy his new surroundings. There should be plenty of things going on when you arrive, so that he is pulled into a world of happiness and warmth. Try not to be surprised or hurt if he ignores you when you return from work. It can be a child’s way of registering some protest about being left. Don’t worry, within a few minutes he’ll settle again.

Saying goodbye

There will be days when your baby doesn’t settle before you leave. Sometimes, the first week or two goes like clockwork, then your baby decides he would prefer to be with you. It is heart-wrenching to leave your baby crying in someone else’s care. But sometimes it has to be done.

  • If it’s clear that he won’t settle, it is kinder to give your baby a big kiss and then leave
  • Make sure your carer diverts him quickly with a toy, cuddle or walk
  • As your baby gets older, you can develop a routine that allows him to know you are leaving but coming back later. Do and say the same things so he gets used to the routine

If he doesn’t settle after a week or two, you should perhaps see if there are ways that you can change the arrangement so that he is happier. Although a change can be disruptive, original arrangements do sometimes go wrong, and it is worth the upheaval to find the right care for your baby.

Looking after yourself

Working and being a parent can mean time is very short and stress levels build up. You need to be well organised to fit everything in.

  • If you have a partner, sort out how you will share the work load before you return to work
  • Build up your own support network, particularly if you are a lone parent. Use our working parents' discussion group to talk with others who are juggling work and home
  • Try to minimise the time you spend on anything you don’t have to do or don't enjoy doing
  • Consider getting help in the house, for instance, a cleaner. Just taking your ironing to someone will help cut your workload
  • Make a point of eating well. Go for high energy healthy foods like fruit, wholemeal bread, cheese, pasta or jacket potatoes to help you stay on your feet all day
  • Drink plenty of water or diluted fruit juice
  • Make early nights a priority, rather than socialising. Catch up on sleep at weekends with an afternoon nap, or a long lie-in if your baby has an early morning feed followed by an hour or two back in his cot

Breastfeeding and working

Some mothers enjoy continuing the close bond of breastfeeding after they return to work. By maintaining this link, they can continue to play a vital part in their baby’s life, even though they're apart for more of the time. It can provide a close time for mother and baby at the end of a working day, reinforcing the mother-child bond.

If you want to breastfeed fully, you will need to investigate your office for a suitable room to express milk, and a place to store it in. You can also:

  • Make sure you have a plentiful stock of expressed breast milk in the freezer
  • Try out different methods of expressing milk so you are sure you have the right equipment available
  • Make sure your baby is happy to take expressed breast milk from a bottle or cup well before you return to work

You may prefer to offer your baby formula milk while you are away and breastfeed when you are together, thus avoiding the need to express milk. Your milk supply will adjust to dropping some daytime feeds over a period of a few days.

Working smarter

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