 Back to work with confidence
If you have
taken months or even a whole year off to look after your baby, returning
to work can seem a scary prospect. However, your experiences as a mother
might have honed your transferable skills even further. We look at ways
in which motherhood makes you better in the workplace so you can return
full of confidence!
When you waved goodbye to your work colleagues weeks before the birth
of your child, you probably still felt like a competent, valued member
of the team. You would have been up to date on all the latest developments
and trends in your industry.
Returning to work, however, after months or even a year away, and you
might be feeling panicked, worried and sure everything will go wrong.
Didn't you once manage a team of staff? Why should they want to listen
to you now? Are you a competent person? After all, you've only been a
mum for the last six or 12 months.
It's funny how motherhood can make women doubt their abilities. Here
you are, running a home, cooking meals, looking after a baby and possibly
other children, doing hundreds of loads of washing and yet you fear going
back to a job you used to do standing on your head a short while ago.
The key is identifying all the transferable skills motherhood has given
you and applying them to your role in the workplace and valuing your
superhuman abilities that you have gained since you went on
maternity leave!
When asked what skill they have honed to perfection, most mums will
say time-management. When you consider how much an average mother has
to do in a day, it's hardly surprising. Co-ordinating feeding your baby
with doing the weekly shop, doing the washing early so you can go out
to that new mother-and-baby group. Coming home to cook dinner for your
baby and yourself… the tasks are endless.
Getting through the 'to-do' list can be difficult but mums manage it,
as babyworld member DebbieAnn says. 'Motherhood gives you management
skills that you might not realise you had until you find yourself organising
people and events for school the NCT, etc. You learn to prioritise, juggle
tasks.'
Since this is a much requested ability in job adverts, you should be laughing
when you go back to work. Do a phone interview at 4pm and submit a report
by 5pm? No problem. Heck, you might even squeeze in a cuppa in between.
The ability to deal effectively and patiently with other people has got
to come second on the skills list, and indeed it featured very highly
on the replies from babyworld members when we asked them what skills
motherhood had given them. From negotiating with a toddler in full-blown
tantrum to standing up for your beliefs and concerns with healthcare professionals,
you will discover or rediscover an innate ability to communicate with
a wide variety of people about different topics.
Gem is proof of this. 'I'm definitely more confident,' she states.
'I stand up for myself more than I used to, especially if someone
is trying to force me to do something with my children that I don't
agree with (e.g. weaning at eight weeks, leaving them to cry etc).
Before, I used to let people walk all over me, and I did whatever
they said. My opinion never came into it.'
Standing up for what you believe in, wherever the location, whatever the
issue, can be a great asset in the workplace, as long as it is done in
the right manner: assertively, not aggressively. Katherine Ellison, US
journalist, author of The Mommy Brain and mum, strongly believes that
motherhood teaches us these invaluable abilities.
 'One
thing I can tell you is that many big businesses in the US, and I'd assume
in the UK as well, are spending a fortune training people in emotional
intelligence: there's a cottage industry of consultants and programmes
ever since Daniel Goleman's breakthrough book in 1995 on the subject.
'Having children is like a boot camp in developing emotional intelligence,
a very useful skill in all realms of your life. Moms (and of course many dads)
are more invested in their children than in any other relationship; thus
we work harder to make the relationship work… and often that effort pays
off in new or strengthened capacities to negotiate, manipulate, resolve
conflicts and empathise.'
It's all very well and good being an amazing negotiator and having
time-management skills to die for but if you fundamentally are not sure
about your work/life choices you will never be confident at home or in the
workplace. Life coach Amanda Alexander recommends that you have a good hard
think about what you want to achieve in your job before you re-enter
the workplace.
'When maternity leave comes to an end, some women can't wait to get back
to work, some are dreading it and others lie somewhere in between,' she
said. 'Wherever you are, try to think positively about your job. Draw
up some short-term and long-term goals and work towards them. But be clear
how you are going to divide your time between work and home. If you feel
constantly pulled in two directions but never satisfied that you are doing
either particularly well then it will make you miserable. And a sad mum
makes an unhappy baby so it's in everyone's interest for you to be confident
in your working choices.'
Amanda also advises making friends with as many working mums as possible
before you return to work. 'Watch out for other mums on the same wavelength
as you, as they will be going through the same things and facing the same
problems. Sometimes having someone there who knows exactly how you're feeling
can be enough reassurance.'
It seems fitting to end on the testimony of one babyworld member,
whose experience of motherhood completely transformed her life, replacing
her crippling and debilitating shyness into confidence in herself.
'It would never have occurred to me but being a mum has made me much
more confident. Before I had my daughter Rosie, I always kept my head
down at work and hardly spoke up, for fear of making a fool of myself.
I didn't really have much faith in my abilities and never dared ask for
a pay rise, promotion or any other benefits that I thought I deserved.
'However, during my maternity leave, I joined a few local mother and baby
groups and made lots of friends very easily. At one of our singing groups,
the leader went away for a month and needed someone to take over in her absence.
To my amazement, I found myself volunteering for the job! There I was, leading
20 mums and their babies in raucous renditions of nursery rhymes and loving
every minute of it. I didn't care if I looked a fool (and I must have looked
pretty strange pretending to be all the animals in Old MacDonald's Farm)
as I was having fun and entertaining my audience.
'I went back to work when Rosie was seven months old with a new-found confidence.
I started speaking up more at meetings in my publishing company and I think people
started seeing me in a new light. At my recent appraisal, my boss commented on how
well I was doing at editorial meetings and has suggested that a promotion might be
in the cards. All of this from having a baby: who'd have thought it?!'
Anna
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