Time to return to work?

You know you are going to go back to work after maternity leave but when is the right time for you … and your baby?

• In the beginning
• Change of heart
• Breastfeeding bonds
• Financial considerations
• Personal satisfaction
• What to do if you change your mind
• What to do if you want to resign
• Trust yourself

In the beginning

When you were pregnant and discussing maternity leave with your employer, you may have been adamant that you would be ready to return at three months, six months, or a year. However, becoming a mum might have changed your mind. Perhaps you want to go back earlier. Perhaps you wish to return a bit later. Maybe you don't want to go back at all.

Change of heart

Before you have your babe in arms, it's difficult knowing what is going to suit you. Unless financial pressures dictate that you go back as soon as possible, you may find yourself wondering what on earth to do, as was the case with Miranda.

'I am self-employed and I told all my clients that I would be back at my desk for three days a week when my daughter was three months old. However, when the time arrived to take her into nursery for her introductory sessions, she looked so tiny, I couldn't bear to leave her there and wanted to spend more time with her. Instead I delayed taking up the place till she was six months old. Luckily, my husband had accrued enough annual leave to take one day off a week to take care of my daughter while I worked, and my mother-in-law came up for the other day. When she was six months old, it seemed the right time for her to start at nursery. But I realise I was lucky to have that option, and the sort of work that offers some flexibility

'So after a lot of talking and looking at our options, our solution was for my husband to go part time in the new year and I postponed my return for a few weeks (and we raided the savings!). I am very happy with the decision we made. Those extra few weeks made all the difference; if I had gone back any earlier I would not have coped at all well. I think you have to go with how you feel once your baby is here and try not to be too set in your ideas.'

Breastfeeding bonds

'So after a lot of talking and looking at our options, our solution was for my husband to go part time in the new year and I postponed my return for a few weeks (and we raided the savings!). I am very happy with the decision we made. Those extra few weeks made all the difference; if I had gone back any earlier I would not have coped at all well. I think you have to go with how you feel once your baby is here and try not to be too set in your ideas.'

Financial considerations

Some people have no choice in the matter of whether to return to work or not. Financial pressures such as mortgages and bills make the decision for them, as Kerry reveals.

'I went back to work when all my children were six months old purely and simply for financial reasons. If I could afford it, or had my parents nearby who would love to have them but live too far away, I would have gone back to work part time. But my return was determined purely for financial reasons I'm afraid!'

Emma agrees. 'Mine was financial too; my job pays fairly well and without it we wouldn't manage. My daughter goes to nursery part time and to her grandparents part time, which reduces the costs but still can't afford to be a stay-at-home mum, much as I would love to. I went back to work when my daughter was nearly six months, as that is when paid statutory maternity pay ran out.'

Personal satisfaction

However, not everyone is distraught at the idea of returning to work. Rather than viewing it as a necessary evil, Babyworlder Nicki viewed it in a more positive light, seeing it as a chance to develop herself mentally and vocationally, which would ultimately have a beneficial effect on her relationship with her daughter.

'I went back to work when my daughter was 10 weeks old. She went into nursery four days a week and my mum had her one day. I needed the money but I also wanted to go back for me and my daughter's sake. I was a single mum at that time and needed to do it for me. I was only just 20 so I was starting my career and had been to college. I had also just got a promotion at work and felt I needed return.

'My advice is go with your heart. Your baby will never forget that you are their mum even though you may think they will, and the time you spend with them outside the workplace will be more quality time, which I found to be the case.'

What to do if you change your mind

In the unlikely event of you wanting to return early to work (we say unlikely because in our experience most mums are happy to use all their time up or would rather have longer!), you must give 28 days' notice, preferably in writing, to your employer, according to the Working Parents website. However, your employer does have the right to delay your return, if it's inconvenient or inappropriate for them, by 28 days.

The norm is for mums to want to return later than planned. In this case, you will need to discuss this with your employer to see what they say about it or contact the Working Parents helpline on 0800 013 0313 to see what rights you have.

Another alternative is to return to work but on different hours. You are entitled to ask for flexible working and your boss, by law, has to consider your request. However, they do not have to accept it and you might find that you will be asked to prove how your job can be done in fewer hours or by working remotely, for example.

While this might sound difficult, it is not impossible, as Amanda explains. 'I went back to work when Daniel was six months old on a part-time basis. I used up old holiday entitlement so I only worked four days from October to December 2005, giving me nearly eight months at home with Daniel. With my second child, I am not sure what we are going to do. With Daniel, we had family nearby to help with the childcare but my parents are moving away and my in-laws might not be keen on looking after two children. Work are being helpful though, and have given me the option to work from home. Not sure how that will work out, but I am determined to give it a go.'

What to do if you want to resign

If the thought of returning to work is really tearing you up inside, and you have enough financial means on which to rely, you could resign from your job. All you have to do is resign in the normal way before the end of your maternity leave; if your contract says you have to give one month's notice, then you should resign at least a month before you are due back at the end of your leave. If you don't make this decision until you are due back at work, then in theory you will have to work out your notice period or you could be in breach of contract and in danger of being sued for any losses incurred on your employer's behalf.

According to the Working Parents website, SMP and MA are never repayable in resignation. However, if you are additionally receiving contractual maternity pay, it may be repayable in certain circumstances. Again, call the Working Parents' helpline for further information.

Trust yourself

At the end of the day, only you will know whether you are ready to return to work. As many of the women who helped us with this article have advised, it is best to go with your heart on this subject, once financial implications have been considered, of course. A happy mum will be one who feels strong in the decisions she has made. And a happy mum means a happy baby, regardless of the circumstances.

Where to next?

• Talk to other mums going back to work on our forum
• You can return to work and survive! Read how here