Keeping it in the family

Recent research by Saga has revealed that grandparents are the overlooked Mary Poppins’ of the family, with some spending the equivalent of a weeks full time employment every month looking after their grandchildren, despite being unpaid and uncompensated for costs. A willing and able relative who is happy to look after your child may well seem the best, and cheapest, option. But it's important that you're both happy with the arrangement.

• We are family
• The pros
• The cons
• Handling it
• The costs
• Your shout

We are family

It's the oldest form of childcare known to mankind. For hundreds or thousands of years, grannies, sisters, aunts, etc have been looking after little nippers while their mums have gone out to work, hunt, gather and shop. And, according to a recent study commissioned by the Department of Education and Skills, it is still popular, with 58% of parents today still do ask the grandparents to do a spot of childcare here and there

There are definite advantages (and disadvantages) to keeping childcare within the family. We take a look at them and ask whether it is an option that is right for you.

The pros

• More than anyone else (apart from you!), you can be sure that your relatives will always have your child's best interests at heart.
• Since your child knows and loves them well, he or she should feel happy and secure being left with them when you're a work.
• You will be totally familiar with the environment in which they will be cared for - either your own house or your relatives'.
• You can be a bit more demanding about sticking to your child's routine and diet, in a way that nurseries and childminders might not be able to accommodate because of their own internal routines and the other children.
• It's often a free option, thereby saving you on enormous childcare costs!

The cons

• There aren't lots of cons to this choice of childcare but the main one is a biggie. You're a lucky soul if you and your relatives agree on every single aspect of childcare and child rearing. It can be difficult tackling potential problem areas with a close relative, for fear of offending them or creating tension.
• Relatives might not be up to date with first-aid guidelines; if not they should seriously consider taking a course before agreeing to care for your child.
• Payment - should you offer? If so, how much?
• Nurseries and childminders are normally obliged to give you a detailed account of your child's day with them, from what they ate to every poo or wee they did. If you want this sort of detail, would you feel comfortable asking your relative to keep such exhaustive records?
• Unless your child is in the company of other young cousins etc, they might not mix much with their contemporaries unless your relatives take them out regularly to baby groups and other activities involving young children.

Handling it

Asking your parents or in-laws to babysit for the odd night out is a completely different kettle of fish to setting up a permanent, regular childminding arrangement. This option certainly isn't for everyone and will only work if you have a good, honest relationship with whomever you might hand your child over to. Both sides must feel comfortable raising issues without fear of insulting the other side. In some ways, within such an arrangement, it is best to think of the relationship as an employer-employee one. If you don't think this is possible, then this option probably isn't for you.

The costs

Many people choose to leave their children with relatives because it is either a free or very cheap option. However, some people feel a bit guilty about giving such a large amount of responsibility over without some form of recompense, even if it is to family members. If you can claim the Working Tax Credit, there is a childcare element that can be used towards eligible costs of registered childcare. This means that whomever you leave your child with must be registered as a childminder to receive this recompense. The downside is that they also must be willing to accept other children to mind as relatives cannot register for the sole purpose of caring for a related child. The best step forward, if you are interested in this option, is to contact your local Children's Information Service, whose number will be in your local telephone directory. For more information on the Working Tax Credit, contact their help line on 0845 300 3900.

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Where to next?

• Choosing childcare - your options.
• Talk to other mums going back to work on our forum
• You can return to work and survive! Read how here
• Visit the babyworld shop