 Holidaying
with Granny
Been there, done that, got the tee shirt!
<<continued from
page 2
babyworlders
share their holiday experiences with the grandparents…
"We just fit in around each
other"
Just before writing this article, my husband Carl, daughter Holly and
I went on holiday with my mother Patricia and stepfather Keith to France
and had a fantastic time. We were all very easy-going and laid-back so
never quarrelled about where to go each day or what to eat. We just fit
in round each other and made sure that everyone got a chance to do what
they wanted. It was a special time for Holly as she got to wake her nana
up every morning (her favourite past-time) and was perfectly happy whenever
her daddy and I went out for a few hours on our own. For the first time
in four years, we had time together to relax as a couple in new surroundings
and were grateful to Patricia and Keith for their help.
My mum is equally enthusiastic about the experience. "What was so enjoyable
about it was that we went away as a family and we had a chance to look
after Holly," she explains. "Because we don't live nearby, we don't see
Holly as much as we would like so it was lovely to have an entire week
with her, taking her swimming and putting her to bed. It was also, I think,
good for Holly to spend time with another generation." Sam
"The good times made up for the rows"
"We've had loads of holidays with my parents and a couple with Phil's
mum. Until recently, we used to have some pretty big fall-outs if we were
all away together (my sisters also) but to be honest they were short and
sharp (we can't even have dinner without rowing!) and the good times and
the company that being on holiday with them gave us made up for it. (In
my opinion: Phil totally doesn't want to go on holiday with my parents
again!) We have, however, had a lovely week at Centre Parcs this year
without a single row! We've had plenty of holidays on our own too and
I think overall that's probably my preferred choice these days." Ludds123
"With my parents yes, with his, no!"
"With my parents YES, with the outlaws, definitely a big fat NO! When
my husband and I got engaged, we went down to the Isle of Wight with his
family for a long weekend and his mother upped sticks and went home on
the Saturday as she wanted to go shopping and the rest of us wanted to
go somewhere else. So she caught a train back home: that kind of sealed
my opinion of her forever! Jules
"We feel lucky to have such great parents"
"Since having children we've been away with my parents twice and the
in-laws twice. I love it. We've even been away with big family groups,
with sisters and aunts and uncles too. We always get on really well and
never fall out. If someone fancies doing something different then we have
an agreement that anyone can do anything without feeling they have to
follow the group and it works well.
"My in-laws came with us to a friend's wedding in Italy in May with the
specific intention of babysitting for us for two nights so we could go
out and socialise. I think that was a really super thing for them to do
and we had a blast. They were so great as my husband was best man and
they wanted him to relax and enjoy himself plus they got time with the
grandchildren.
"My parents took my son on holiday for a week whilst my husband and I
went on our honeymoon; they said if he was on holiday too he would be
less likely to miss us. They are also taking my son away for a week this
year; they feel our daughter is too young this year but would like to
take her next. They go on loads of holidays so they get time on their
own and time with the grandchildren. Plus my mother is my son's favourite
person in the world, so he tells me!
"We feel really lucky to have such great parents... we have promised
them we'll do the same for our grandchildren when the time comes and they
are happy to take that as 'payment', if you see what I mean." Sandra
"It can't have been that bad!"
"We've just come back from holiday with my partner's parents. We went
for three weeks and they only went for a week, which was nice as we had
some of the holiday on our own too. Whilst I was dreading it beforehand
(been on holiday with them before and it was a nightmare), it turned out
to be fine and I quite enjoyed them being there as they saw to the kids
quite a bit and played with them to give me a break. I've even told my
partner I don't mind if they come next year, so it can't have been bad!"
Di
"I longed to go home"
My parents treated us all (me, husband and all five kids, brother, his
missus and their son) to a week in Ibiza last year. The holiday was lovely
in itself but what spoilt it for me is my mum, who was using the holiday
to try to 'get to know' my brother's girlfriend and spent the whole week
pretty much ignoring me and my family because she was too busy hanging
about with her and cooing over my nephew. I think the only time she really
spoke to my kids was when she was telling them off and only spoke to me
when slagging off my kids. By the Thursday, I'd had enough and longed
for the holiday to be over. We had a huge argument and I suppose it cleared
the air a little but things were still a bit tense until we got home."
Kadams
"It can be quite strained"
"When my parents were still around we used to go and stay with them all
the time (they lived in Cornwall) and had a ball. They used to babysit
for us whilst we went out and partied.
"We have also been away with his family; he has four sisters and we all
have been away together twice, that is ten adults and nine children in
total. The first time we rented a stately home for the week in Devon and
the second time we hired a farmhouse in Tewkesbury. Again, we had a great
time and the children got to spend time together. It is good for our children
to spend this time together as two live in Trinidad, two live in America,
one is in Surrey and our four are in Manchester so they don't meet up
that often. Also I think my mother-in-law appreciates seeing them all.
It is quite strained sometimes though as two of my husband's sisters are
on 'polite' terms only with their mum and some sisters aren't getting
on with others etc. My husband and I stay out of it though and are friends
with everyone, although after a week with my mother-in-law it can sometimes
be hard work not to scream!
"My mother-in-law wanted to take us all away for a week to a smallish
house in Tenby this year but we declined as we were sure we couldn't cope:
she is very nice but also very hard work alone and we wouldn't have had
a holiday at all. Instead we have booked a week away in a caravan, just
us and the girls." Dawn
"Everybody wins!"
"Most definitely! We go with my parents most years. They enjoy spending
holiday time with their grandchildren, the children get to spend time
with their grandparents and my husband and I get a moment's peace. Everybody
wins!" Harriet
"She was a godsend"
"I went to Australia with my mum in February and she was a godsend, although
at the end of the three weeks I could quite happily have never seen her
again for a very long time, but I'm the same with my husband when on holiday
too, so it wasn't really her fault." Angela
"Family holidays should be just that"
"I think this very much depends on your own personal situation and the
situation of the grandparents. If both of your parents are in reasonably
good health, can move about freely and maintain a level of independence,
which means you are not living in each other' pocket for one or two weeks,
then fine.
"And, as going on holiday with anyone, old or young, there is the give
and take aspect to consider. You might like spending your days on the
beach with a young family, whereas grandparents might prefer to do other
things. Though, once this is all sorted before you go, there should be
few problems.
"My husband's parents have a flat in Antibes in the south of France and
we tend to cross paths, ie we go in for a week as they're leaving. They
tend to like earlier nights than we do and to eat in classier restaurants,
whereas, with a young family, we're less fussy. My daughter sees plenty
of her grandparents anyway. We like our family holidays to be just that,
for our family. My husband works extremely hard all year and he considers
family holidays to be precious time with his own family." Trixie
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