 Holidaying
with Granny
Taking the grandparents on holiday can be a blast for everyone involved.
We take a look at how to make three-generational holidays a dream, not
a disaster.
Granny Canarias
According to credit card company American Express, family travel is on
the increase. However, the types of holiday we are booking as families
are changing. A recent AE poll revealed that 81 per cent of their consultants
were booking 'multigenerational' holidays, involving grandparents, while
our very own babyworld poll revealed that nearly two-thirds
of you would take your parents or the in-laws away.
Additionally, more than 66 per cent of agents surveyed have seen grandparents
travelling exclusively with their grandchildren. This is anticipated to
be such a trend that coach company WA Shearings have introduced a new
series of 'grandparents and grandchildren' coach tours between July and
December this year, including short breaks to London to catch a show or
see the sights.
From this information it would seem that the next generation in family
vacations is taking the grandparents along for the ride.
Why it's a good idea
First things first: just why is taking your parents or in-laws away
with you a good idea? Surely all the bad-taste mother-in-law jokes are
testimony that mixing these two generations is bordering on dangerous?
Jane Fearnley-Whittingstall, granny and author of The Good Granny Guide
explains what grandparents can bring to a family holiday.
"At the very basic level, all the benefits of two extra pairs of hands,
lightening the burden of chores, help preparing meals, picnics etc, and
taking their turn doing the shopping. Additionally, grandparents can give
individual attention to each child, thereby reducing sibling conflict.
Having the grandparents there means the group can split up so that, for
example, older children can go rock-climbing with their parents while
the little ones play in the sand with granny and grandpa."
Gordon Lishman, director-general of Age Concern, added, "There is often
a special bond between a grandchild and their grandparent and family holidays
can be a great opportunity for grandparents to spend quality time with
their grandchildren, particularly if they do not get to see each other
very often. But parents must be careful not to take grandparents for granted
or expect them to provide constant child care. Grandparents need a holiday
too."
It's all in the preparation
The key to harmony is to discover everyone's idea of what constitutes
a good holiday. For instance, you may dream of parking yourself by the
pool with a good book and relaxing while your husband might prefer to
get out the guide book and visit all the local attractions. However, the
chances are your toddler would be very happy playing on the beach and
making endless sandcastles!
The same applies if you take the grandparents with you too, although
obviously you will be taking even more people's preferences into consideration.
It can be tempting to think that the grandparents can look after junior
while you go out for lavish meals every night but don't forget that they,
too, will want to have some time to themselves, as Jane emphasises. "It's
important to plan the holiday together beforehand so everyone can put
down a marker for how they want to spend time. Perhaps Grandpa wants to
go fishing and Granny wants to visit one or two gardens."
Jane also advises discussing distribution of labour before you go away,
particularly if you're staying in self-catering accommodation. "Agree
beforehand what contributions of food and drink everyone will make. They
should certainly bring some wine or beer for general consumption, and
whatever their own favourite tipple is. It's also important that anyone
who has a dietary requirement makes it their responsibility to look after
it. It may be difficult to buy All Bran in a remote mountain village in
Spain!"
A built-in babysitter?
The obvious attraction of taking your parents or in-laws away on holidays
is the fact that you can leave your children with someone you can trust,
who won't charge you a bean for their time, so you can have time as a
couple. Undoubtedly, grandparents will be expecting to do some of the
childcare duties and will enjoy the opportunity to be so involved. However,
you need to strike a balance between letting them have fun with their
grandchildren and taking advantage of them.
"Of course parents will be able to go out on their own but it should
work both ways; the grandparents should be allowed to go off for a night
out too," stresses Jane. "If granny wants to put her feet up for an hour
after lunch every day, she should make it clear in advance."
Take a break from each other
Contrary to the American Express findings, family holiday website takethefamily.com
recently revealed that over a quarter of parents on their site felt that
taking the grandparents on holiday was second only to going away with
their ex for creating mega-high stress levels. Why is this so?
Even if you're on holiday in a tropical paradise, living in close confines
with other family members can be quite difficult, especially if you are
a messy mummy and everyone else is a neat freak. In order for family time
to remain fun, you need to take short breaks from each other to give some
vital breathing space. "Life with the extended family should be stimulating
and pleasurable for everyone, but it can also be exhausting. A rest from
each other is very important," Jane advises.
Even if it's leaving the grandparents behind to have a quiet morning
by the pool while you do some sightseeing or encouraging them to have
a romantic meal out together can help provide some peace in what would
otherwise be a very intense environment. Big happy families are all great
and good but they only stay that way if they are allowed time out for
good behaviour.
by Sam Pope
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