Involving your partner in pregnancy 
There's no shortage of information and
advice to tell you what to expect during pregnancy, but what about your
partner? How can you get him involved with your
unborn child so that you are both as excited and elated when you finally
give birth?
Attend the scans
Firstly, the father should attend the initial scan with their
partner, says Jack O'Sullivan, co-founder of Fathers Direct, the
national information centre for fatherhood, promoting close and positive
relationships between men and their children.
"This is the time when parents are coming to terms with the
pregnancy and the scan is the first opportunity to see that the baby is
really on the way. The mother can feel the change in her body but to the
father it's not obvious for some time. The scan bridges that gap."
Attend antenatal classes
Fathers should also attend antenatal classes or join an NCT group,
which will be both educational and sociable, O'Sullivan suggests. You
should be able to find at least one evening class that your partner can
attend.
"Joining a class is very helpful because you learn quite a lot
but, most importantly, for a couple of hours a week the two of you go
there because you are going to become parents and it gives you the
chance to focus on it and speak to other dads about it. This makes the
man realise that he's not on his own. I went to an NCT class and found
it very useful."
Talk to the bump
Talking to the bump, stroking it and massaging it can all bring the
father closer to his unborn child, he adds.
"Research shows that babies recognise their fathers' voices just
as much as their mothers' voices. A father's voice is just as important.
It's good to talk to the bump and to stroke the bump, or anything which
helps fathers have that sense of life-change."
Nest-build
Nest-building can also help fathers become more involved in the
parenthood situation before the baby is born, says O'Sullivan.
"Some men redecorate the bedroom and plan some of the purchases
for the new baby. It's great for the father to concentrate on things he
can do to support the new arrival."
Read material
It is also important to read some baby material, although much is
geared towards the mother-to-be. The Bounty
Guide To Fatherhood is a free publication written by Fathers Direct
which will give the prospective dad plenty of information about preparing for
the birth. It is published by Bounty and is available by writing to
Bounty Services Ltd, PO Box 3, Vinces Road, Diss, Norfolk IP98 1GH.
Attend the birth
And, of course, you can make sure your partner is present during the
birth if you both want him to be.
The largest ever survey of new fathers showed in September 2000 that 96%
of men attend the birth of their child.
"It's so important to be there because it's a life-changing
event, says O'Sullivan. "Most men will say it was the most
significant event in their lives and I think it makes the bond greater
between father and child."
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