 Bed
Rest:
What it is, what it isn't, and how to cope
When Sarah Bilston found herself confined to bed rest for a large
part of her pregnancy she turned the inevitable time that stretched ahead
of her to good use and has lots of advice for mums and their families
faced with horizontal living.
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Relief - at first
BED REST. Sounds pretty good, right? You're in the second, maybe the
third trimester of pregnancy, meaning you're on only nodding acquaintance
with your toes, but you're still dragging your enormous belly to your
desk at 7.30 every morning. Or you're struggling to get three uncooperative
kids to school at a time when you can barely prise your eyes open.
You feel - and you have a sneaking suspicion you look - like a walrus.
So if your doctor tells you she wants you to stay in bed for the remainder
of your pregnancy, part of you - a teeny weeny part - may actually be
relieved.
No more commuting to work and school, you think to yourself. No more
chores around the house ("Sorry dear, I can't do the dishes tonight, doctor's
orders"). And no-one can possibly expect you to attend that boring lecture/conference/company
retreat you've been dreading.
But at some point, the reality of bed rest is bound to kick in. The first
day may pass pleasantly enough: you paint your nails, nap for hours, and
watch seven episodes of Eastenders .
The second day is okay, but at about 3pm it crosses your mind you are
a little bored of the soaps . . . By the third day, you are face to face
with the unpleasant truth: there is, it turns out, only so much daytime
TV a woman can stand.
Why bed rest is no picnic
And as the days, weeks, and months pass by, you find yourself discovering
what hundreds of thousands of women have discovered before you: bed rest
is no picnic. In fact, it is likely to be one of the biggest challenges
you have ever faced.
Bed rest means, for many women, remaining totally immobile in bed for
twenty-four hours a day. Some are allowed up for (the comically named)
"bathroom privileges"; others are denied even this small opportunity to
stretch their legs, while some are actually committed to a hospital bed.
Most are asked to remain on their left side as much as possible in order
to improve blood flow to the baby. Pressure pains and sores are the inevitable
result; hips, legs, knee-joints, and shoulders all suffer from constant
contact with the bed or sofa. Research also suggests that such long-term
immobility may have potentially serious consequences, including cardiovascular
de-conditioning and increased risk of thrombosis.
None of this is likely to make your time on bed rest pleasant or anxiety-free.
And let's not forget the fear - the deep, gnawing fear - that something
may actually go wrong with your baby, the little person you feel kicking
inside of you, the little person you long to know. There's no-one to talk
these fears through with on bed rest, no routine to help bury the dark
anxieties lurking in the back of your mind. When you're on bed rest, it's
just you and the four walls of your bedroom.
So how can a woman cope with bed rest?
The first thing to know is, there are support networks out there.
Go to www.sidelines.org
to hook up with other women who have been and are on bed rest; On the
site you'll also find a helpful checklist of questions to ask your doctor
(everything from, "May I shower every day?" to "Can we still have sex?").
babyworld's online antenatal clubs engender deep, firm friendships
as you are in a group of mums at the same stage as you. You could potentially
have 30 instant friends to support you!
Second, rope in everybody and anybody you've ever met to support
you and your family. This is not the time to be proud. Shamelessly ask
your neighbours to make extra helpings of dinner for your freezer. Insist
family members come and help you out with older children. Beg friends
to stop by at lunchtime to keep you company - and fill up your water jug
(women on bed rest need to keep extremely well-hydrated).
Third, put together a list of things you will need each day, and
pass it onto your partner. Stamps, envelopes, fresh flowers, the TV remote,
the telephone, Kleenex: as the days and weeks go by, you'll realise that
some things must be by your side, or you'll find yourself on the screaming
edge of madness.
It's 4pm, your partner won't be home for three hours, you've run out
of food, and the one thing your pregnant body craves most is a peanut-butter
sandwich . . . Order groceries for home-delivery (if at all possible),
and make sure you include plenty of peanut butter as well other treats
to give you something to look forward to. This is probably not the time
to worry about your waist-line.
Fourth, try to develop some kind of a routine; it'll make the
day go faster. And give yourself small goals to map out the day and make
you feel you're getting somewhere (five glasses of water before lunch,
five before bedtime, for example.
It sounds mundane, but it's strangely satisfying to feel you're doing
something for your own health and your baby's wellbeing).
Fifth, ask your doctor for exercises to do while lying down, and
stick to them religiously. You'll find your circulation seems to deteriorate
on bed rest; exercises will help keep the blood moving and will also make
you feel less of a blob. If you can afford it, consider arranging for
a massage therapist (one specialising in pregnancy massage) to come to
your home.
Finally, once bed rest ends, remember that it will take time to
get your strength and conditioning back. Some research suggests that the
physical effects of bed rest may last for as long as a year. Many women
on bed rest have conditions that necessitate a C-section, which is likely
to make recovery even harder. And of course, there is the small matter
of a tiny screaming person who doesn't feel like letting you recuperate
at nights.
The upside
 When
I wrote Bed Rest, my novel about one woman's experience of a high-risk
pregnancy, I wanted to stress that there can be an upside to the experience,
a silver-lining to the cloud. Left to her own devices 24/7, my heroine
finds things out about herself - about her marriage, her family, her past
- that ultimately help prepare her for the future.
She thinks about how she was mothered as she contemplates how she wants
to mother. Bed rest is a challenging experience for my heroine, but it
is also an important rite of passage, an opportunity to rethink her life
as part of the transition to parenthood. Every woman is different, of
course, but some time to rest and think can be a useful and even regenerative
phase in life.
And of course, bed rest does end - and for the vast majority of women,
it ends well. How do I know so much about the experience? I was on bed
rest two years ago, for almost three months, at which point my daughter
was born safe, healthy, and almost full-term. She showed absolutely no
sign of ill-effects from the condition that forced me on bed rest.
Now I'm committed to helping support other women going through the experience
(for further tips on surviving bed rest go to my website, www.bedrestdiary.com).
Bed rest is definitely challenging, but there is support out there; informing
yourself about what to expect and planning your days carefully also go
a long way towards making the experience bearable.
by Sarah Bilston
About the author
British-born, Sarah Bilston Assistant Professor of English at Trinity
College, Hartford CT, is the author of Bed Rest, a novel which is out
in March (Sphere, £12.99).Available
from Amazon
She is currently working on the sequel, Sleepless Nights.
www.bedrestdiary.co.uk
is Sarah's site about bed rest.
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is not a mini holiday"
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