Feel for Fathers
As you chat away with your new-found friends from your antenatal and post-natal classes, spare a thought for new fathers who, until now, have had no such built-in natural support network. First-time Mums aren't the only ones who suffer emotional meltdown when they're faced with first-time parenthood. Being a new Dad can be very stressful too in the 21st century. Whilst mothers recovering from the physical strain of childbirth have family, friends and a whole healthcare network on hand to reassure them that post-natal depression is a 'perfectly normal hormone thing', dads receive no such reassurance to help them cope with natural depression that so often follows the euphoria of childbirth and the excitement of first time fatherhood. Most modern fathers are expected to go on working while at the same time learning to become fully trained, hands-on members of the nappy changing, bottle feeding, up-all-night parenthood team. So as mothers discuss everything and anything to do with babies, spare a thought for new fathers who, until now, have had no such built-in natural support network. A new survey by Calpol shows that 21st century dads are expected to cope without any of the backup which has always been so readily available to new mums. Few new Dads have the courage to admit to their taut nerves, feelings of being overwhelmed by responsibility now the euphoria has worn off or the exhaustion they're suffering as a result of sleepless nights. Most men find it harder to confide their fears to a close friend as women do because they consider it's not macho to admit to financial, practical or career fears in case they're scorned or teased. The survey comes just weeks after the Government admitted that nine in ten men are failing to take up their paternity leave entitlements. They are not requesting flexible working hours after having a baby, despite the fact that they are entitled to £100 a week for two weeks on top of their normal holiday entitlement. Nor do they know that paternity leave is just one of a number of new statutory rights available to new Dads. It shows that:
Their failure to take up their paternity rights has a knock on effect on their wives and partners. As Tim Mungbeam, a spokesman for Parentalk, the leading charity for campaigning on behalf of parents explains: "Immediate involvement helps a new dad build his confidence and establish good habits for the child's future development. The first few weeks after a baby is born are crucial, not only for providing time for the father to bond with his new baby, but also for him to get to grips with learning the new practical skills involved." If men are tired and stressed, it affects not only their ability to bond with their babies, but also their levels of efficiency in the workplace, adding to their worries. Yet, as more mothers go back to part-time or full-time working within six months of a new baby's arrival, fathers are increasingly finding themselves left holding the baby. Dads who feel it's all getting a bit much could: Where to next?
|
