 Dads
in the delivery room - help or hindrance?
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continued from page 1
We asked babyworld members for their honest opinion - were
their partners a help or a hindrance in the delivery room?
My husband saved my life
"During my third labour, my husband saved my life. I was having heparin
intravenously and it was supposed to be switched off just before delivery.
It wasn't and I started haemorrhaging. I'd had pethidine close to the
birth and was way out of it. The midwife was running round like a headless
chicken, trying to stop the bleeding when my husband suddenly realised
the heparin was still switched on and told her to switch it off. The bleeding
then stopped within a couple of minutes.
"On my postnatal check, my GP told me I'd lost quite a bit of blood and
I mentioned about the heparin being on during delivery. He looked back
over my notes and said no, it was written down that the midwife had switched
it off just before my daughter was born. Wonder how she'd have covered
it up if I'd died?"
Jan
I was surprised how good he was
"I was quite surprised by how good Craig was when we were having Sophie.
I was worried I would feel like I was doing it on my own, which I suppose
I was, but he really got involved and was watching for the contractions
and helping me through them. I did want to clout him when he said just
one more push for the fifth time though! He cut the cord and looked after
her while I had some food as I hadn't eaten in over 24 hours by the time
she was delivered and I felt happier that she was with him than in the
cot."
Sue
He was there to protect me
"I just needed Lee to be there plain and simple. He did not do anything
as such but I knew that he was there for me and me only. I was in there
on my own, in terms of the pain, but I needed Lee there and when he went
to the toilet I was panic-stricken. I felt like Lee was there to protect
me and although he could not stop the pain I felt like he would not let
anything bad happen to me or Sam."
Heather
He practically pinned down my consultant
"Andrew was fantastic with me. I was on the labour ward for a week as
I was bleeding heavily and in a lot of pain and was having back labour.
They wouldn't interfere as the babies were not in danger. No one would
listen to me until my husband practically pinned down my consultant and
asked what he was going to do to help me. When I eventually went into
theatre for an emergency c-section, they pulled the first baby out and
said 'It's a boy' and Andrew stood up and looked over the screen and nearly
fainted at the sight of all of my 'innards' as he called them! Two minutes
later when they pulled the second baby out - guess what, he did EXACTLY
the same thing!"
Jules
I would give him ten out of ten!
"My husband was perfect! He was simply in the right place at the right
time. I don't like being soothed etc and, believe me, there had been 'dagger'
moments when he came anywhere near me before the actual birth. But come
the moment our children started to make an appearance, he was up out of
his seat in a flash egging me on! Poor guy! I can laugh about it now but
I remember when I was having our first, he was sitting in the corner of
the room doing a crossword and I was pacing the floor because I couldn't
bear to lie down and he looked up and asked 'Are you in pain?'. God, I
could have throttled him! I replied, 'Of course I am in pain for f***'s
sake!"
Claian
I didn't want him to be there
"I didn't even want my partner to be with me in the delivery room! I
guess I was worried things wouldn't be the same again, intimately, if
he saw me in labour. He was adamant he would be there, though, and he
was, but to be honest it was all a big blur (pethidine!). Quite sad, really,
as I can't remember much, apart from the pain."
Tina
He was a total plank
"My son's biological father (not my husband) was a total plank during
labour - and that's putting it nicely! I went into early-stage labour
in early hours of 9 March 1996 and his parents were due to visit that
day. I asked him to put them off but he wouldn't. I ended up cooking lunch
for them with my contractions being four minutes apart. When we eventually
got to hospital he did very little except disappear for cigarettes ...
he even went home in the early hours so that he could watch the first
Grand Prix of the season! To top it all off, when my son was born by emergency
c-section, my ex thought that the placenta was our newborn son!
"I'm hoping that my husband will prove to be a tad more supportive if
we ever get pregnant. That said, I preferred doing it on my own as I could
just get on with things and not worry about someone else."
Dee
He did a runner
"My son's father did a runner when I was pregnant so I had my mum and
a new boyfriend with me. My boyfriend was useless. He tried but was in
the background mostly and mum worried so much she worried me! With my
others, my husband was there and he was great. Not much he could do but
he calmed me when it got rough and communicated for me when I was in too
much pain to explain myself. He knew just what I wanted and needed. He'll
be there again this time; I'm scared stiff as I hate pain but I know he'll
calm me down."
Mel
It's essential to have the dad there
"I can honestly say I don't think I could have done it without my husband
there. Psychologically, having somebody you know very well and who knows
you gave me great courage. I think it's essential and what charities like
the NCT campaigned for for so long. Birthing is an experience that should
be shared with your partner in my opinion."
Trixie
He was still parking the car
"While pregnant with my first son, I fully expected my husband to be
with me for the birth. However, it was such a long, drawn-out experience,
I just wanted to shut my eyes and get on with it, so it made no difference
to me that he spent much of the time asleep. Even funnier is that the
midwives got him an extra comfortable chair, and told any medical visitors
(of which there many ... ) not to disturb him! My second son was born
so quickly that my husband was still parking the car when he arrived!"
Kittydoll
He would make a great midwife!
"One thing I am really thankful for is the fact that, because of my
partner's calm common sense during the latter stages of my labour with
our second baby, I was able to give birth to our son perfectly naturally
at home. When our baby seemed to be stuck the midwife was running around
like a headless chicken, phoning for an ambulance and shouting at me to
'lie still, don't push and wait for an ambulance'. However, my partner
knew that if I was in a different position I might have a chance of giving
birth there and then. So he helped me move up onto my knees and encouraged
me to try again and - bingo - our son was suddenly 'unstuck'! He then
suggested the 'supported squat' position (like we had done with our first
baby) and our son was born perfectly naturally - no thanks to the midwife!
"It's a shame he doesn't fancy training to be a midwife because I think
he would make a better one than a lot of those around these days!"
Suzy
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