 Baby
showers
Like it or not, baby showers are fast becoming popular in the
UK. We take a look at what they are, who to invite and what on earth they
involve!
What is a babyshower?
A baby shower is a special party for the mum-to-be to celebrate the imminent
arrival of her child, usually 4-6 weeks before her due date. It is usually
a female-only occasion; remember those newspaper pictures showing Stella
McCartney hosting a lavish affair for three pregnant friends, Kate Moss,
Sharleen Spiteri and Sadie Frost?
Baby showers are mainly known as an American tradition, although they
are gradually gaining in popularity in the UK. A quick poll of babyworld
members revealed that 53% of you would love to have one if someone else
organised it for you. However, 25% of you still thought they were materialistic
and wouldn't want one. Before you decide either way, why not take a look
at what they're all about?
Who's the host?
A baby shower is normally hosted by female friends or relatives of the
expectant mum, not the mum herself (although recently some mums have arranged
their own showers). Traditionally, non-relatives hosted the shower, e.g.
co-workers, church groups, etc but these days it is more acceptable for
family members to become involved. It is also possible for the shower
to be hosted by more than one person, e.g. the mum's closest group of
friends. It can be fun for them to share the organisation and planning
for this special event!
When to have one?
The majority of baby showers are held before the arrival of the baby,
rather than afterwards. This means the mum can enjoy her last few weeks
before the baby arrives and spend the time being made a fuss of, rather
than rushing around after a newborn! Suzanne Rudd, of UK-based company
Baby Showers Galore, thinks that having a shower in the weeks running
up to the birth is ideal for the mum-to-be. "The last six weeks or so
are quite tiring - I know that I was concentrating on every ache and pain!
It was lovely to have the shower to take my mind off things and to relax
with my friends before my life was changed forever!"
Who and how to invite?
Most friends and relatives will have a rough idea who the mum would
want to be at the shower but it never hurts to check in case you have
missed someone out … or added someone they would rather not attend! If
you are planning the party as a surprise, ask her partner or closest friend
to look over the list for you.
It is acceptable to invite guests by telephone or email but, if you
choose the latter, make sure they check their emails regularly. A written
invitation is still the preferred way of contacting people and it gives
them something to remember the day by. Special cards can be bought although
in the UK they may be hard to come by in stationers - you are better off
looking for companies on the web. If you're feeling artistic you could
always make your own. The advantage of this is you can tailor the card
to the individual event and mum.
It may seem obvious but, no matter how you contact people, make sure
you include all the relevant info, e.g. date, time, venue, whether the
party involves a theme, any special item you want guests to bring and
any suggestions for gifts. Some mums may have a special baby shower list
(rather like a wedding list) - if so, let guests know where this is kept.
What venue should I choose?
Baby showers are normally held in the hostess's home but they can also
be very successful in restaurants, village halls or other neutral venues.
It depends on the atmosphere you want to create and how much money you
have to spare.
What happens on the day?
The whole point of the shower is to have lots of fun and help the mum-to-be
relax before her long-awaited arrival. Suzanne Rudd recommends that each
guest be given a name badge to help people get to know each other quicker
- this is particularly useful when the games start!
"There are all sorts of games that can be played at a baby shower,"
says Suzanne. "These include baby bingo, guess the baby's birth weight
and even guess the mother's stomach circumference!" Holding the games
early on is a great ice-breaker.
After the games, why not offer some food to refuel everyone? Finger buffets
or snacks with dips are ideal rather than complicated meals. Once the
food is finished, you could play some more games before ending the shower
by asking the expectant mum to open her gifts. This is a chance for everyone
to get all teary-eyed and broody over all the little outfits and toys!
Some women may feel more comfortable opening the presents later - perhaps
even after the birth. If this is the case, then respect the mother's wishes.
A camera to record the special day is also a good idea - so the guest
of honour can remember how special everyone made her feel.
babyworld members' experiences
"My baby shower was arranged as a surprise by my sister. I had about
15 friends/ family, and they arranged all the food/nibbles etc. It hadn't
occurred to me that I would get gifts as well; no one asked for a list
but they all bought beautiful things. Everyone my sister invited came,
but no one was obliged to - they WANTED to.
"The point of the shower was to celebrate with friends my pregnancy,
to speculate about the birth/sex/weight of the baby, to share stories
of their births and get advice, for my Mum to tell everyone my potty-training
mishaps, and generally just enjoy a last lovely evening with friends.
Now my gorgeous daughter is actually here, I don't see how we could do
that with any peace and quiet.
"It gave my friends happiness to buy me gifts, and I was overjoyed to
receive them, but it's not about money or what is 'expected' - some were
more expensive than others, but this isn't a money making exercise, these
are my loved ones! Gifts are given and received with love, and that is
the important thing. My favourite present was a 'This is your life' type
photo album that my sister made, with photos and silly messages and contributions
from everyone there - it is something I'll treasure.
"Personally I think baby showers are a lovely idea, and I'm very grateful
my family and friends were so thoughtful." Lisa
Baby showers … South Africa-style!
"I'm originally from sunny South Africa and last year, when I was pregnant,
I mentioned baby showers/stork parties to a very good work colleague who
didn't have a clue what I was on about! Imagine my surprise when, one
Saturday in February this year, I popped in to see her as arranged and
was given a wonderful baby shower! These are common place in South Africa
but are only done for the first baby and, although the expectant mother
would expect one, it is normally a surprise and for girls only! All the
guests bring a plate of eats and drink.
"The theme is usually in accordance with the theme of the nursery. Guests
include all female friends and colleagues.
"The expectant mum is dressed up in something resembling a baby's nappy,
given a dummy and her face is made up in a child-like manner - rosy cheeks,
freckles etc. Various games are played too. The guests usually bring a
gift which used to be wrapped in a towelling nappy and sealed with pins
(this was the case with mine as I intended using these instead of disposables).
Guests are also required to bring a door gift - something under £5 like
baby powder, vaseline, nappy sacks etc. All the little things that add
up.
"Gifts are normally taken off of a list compiled by the expectant mum
if she has an idea that one is being planned but, if not and in my case,
my work colleague asked a lot of questions about what my theme was in
the nursery and what items I still needed etc. She also roped in the husband
on the quiet and he let her have a list of wanted items - very sly!
"We were grateful for every gift received and we all had a fantastic
day. We are now planning another work colleagues in September and we are
looking forward to it!" Mel
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