 Baptisms
Once upon a time most babies were baptised and many more families
went to church but nowadays are non-religious families doing it just to
have a special day for their little ones? Sam Pope looks at the arguments
for and against baptism for non-religious families ....
Once upon a time, most babies were baptised. There was no debate about
the pros and cons of the practice, as a recent babyworld poll sparked.
Michael Saward, formerly Canon of St Paul's Cathedral, summed up the situation
in an article for the website www.baptism.org.uk :
"When I was first ordained, the Church of England baptised more or less
anything that moved - about 70 per cent of the live births. Indiscriminate
practice was simply the Anglican way in England and they grudgingly accepted
it. Today it is radically different. In the London diocese the infant
baptism figure is 8 per cent of live births. Most urban areas are under
25 per cent."
Saward cites three reasons behind the rapid decline of baptisms in the
UK: the growth in non-Christian immigrants; young people's indifferent
attitudes to the Christian church who "… see no reason to inflict ritual
mumbo-jumbo on their offspring"; and finally the reluctance of the clergy
and congregation in seeing baptisms (in the main Sunday services) by people
who have never attended church before and probably won't keep the promises
they make during the baptising ceremony. Babyworld member, Clare,
shares this opinion:
"I go to church every week and feel very uncomfortable when there is
a christening within the service, for a family you never see at church
under normal circumstances … the parents and Godparents self-consciously
'renouncing evil' as they shift embarrassedly from foot to foot! Why do
it if you have no faith in the religion? I believe it IS often for the
sake of a family get together and a p*ss up!"
Clare may have a point, as 22 per cent of babyworld voters said they
would or have baptized their children for the sake of a nice party and
Godparents!.
The vast majority of voters (68 per cent) said baptising a child if you're
not religious was hypocritical. This is understandable - if you're a regular
churchgoer and you see endless new families in church promising they will
bring their children up as Christians but never see them again afterwards,
it can jar that people aren't taking your beliefs as seriously as you
are, as babyworld member Allyson says:
"I am christened, completely happy about this and will probably have
our children christened too. I do agree, however, that parents who are
not religious at all make a mockery of the church by having their children
christened."
This view is shared by the founders and members of Baptismal Integrity
(BI), a group within the Church of England that seeks to bring to an end
the indiscriminate administration of infant baptism! BI supports the baptism
of infants of practising Christians and has also suggested an alternative
ceremony - Child Thanksgiving - to those who would rather their children
made the conscious decision to join the faith. Child Thanksgivings are
religious in nature though - families still give thanks to God for the
gift of a child (and Godparents can be commissioned too) but the ceremonies
leave the option of baptism till later. This ceremony is apparently becoming
increasingly popular amongst religious families.
Not everyone in the church is against 'indiscriminate' baptisms though.
Some see the practice of banning families who are not regular churchgoers
as against the accepting nature of Christianity and say it only serves
to alienate potential believers even more.
The following extract, written by Revd Jeremy Trigg (Rector of the Holy
Trinity CoE Church in Milton Keynes) is from the St George's Church, Wolverton's,
website:
"One of the intriguing things about the Christian Church is that it can
appear to be terribly exclusive. Take, for instance, our attitude to baptism:
in many places we respond to parents who bring their children to baptism
by putting them through a series of obstacles and hoops, which we call
'preparation'. We do this in an attempt to allay our fears that we may
be baptising children of parents who are not Christian.
"At Baptism services it is quite common for church members to stay away,
and for those who do come to resent the unwelcome intrusion into a treasured
routine where baptism families are not 'our own'. "
Yet we all know how precious a child is to its parents and how important
a step it is to them to bring their child to baptism. The statistics tell
us that the number of baptisms is down, but that does nothing to detract
from and may enhance the significance of the step for those who still
seek it … For parents it often arises out of a profound sense of gratitude
to the God who has blessed their sharing in his creative work … Ours is
not to hinder their approaching God … That must mean the total and complete
acceptance of people as they are, where they are, without condition."
Many people who aren't religious but want to celebrate the birth of their
baby in a special ceremony turn to humanist naming ceremonies, or more
liberal church services, to fulfil their wishes, as Jane and Jenny explain:
"We have a dedication service, in which we promise to bring our children
up to the best of our ability and with God's help. We believe in baptism
for believers, and as a 4-6 month old can't express their opinion yet
lol, we find this way fills in us the need to do something that welcomes
our children and yet isn't making promises that no one could possibly
keep." Jane- babyworld moderator
"I have an issue with the assumption that religious means Christian.
I follow a different religion and hence I am religious. We had a naming
day for both of ours, and will for the next one when it arrives. We have
named friends to be 'Sook-Chiim'. This is a word taken from Klingon. It
means something like surrogate parent for the child and surrogate brother/sister
to the parents. It is sort of like godparents without the God bit." Jenny
O - babyworld member
A naming ceremony might not get your child into the local church school
(only 2 pe cent of voters said that they'd do this anyway) but it will
guarantee a memorable and enjoyable day for everyone involved!
Babyworld members share their views:-
"Some of the mums from my antenatal group have been suddenly overcome
with the urge to go religious just to get their kids into the nearest
church school! It makes me fume. They honestly say they are only doing
it for that reason. Last week I asked one if she and toddler would continue
to go when toddler got a place in church school, and she said no. How
dishonest is that? I know everybody wants the best for their kids but
I really think that's really horrible. They even moan about having to
get up early on Sundays to go to an 8am church service!" Trixie
"At the Catholic schools around here church attendance is expected from
the children throughout their school life. My cousins are Catholics and
the kids would feel pretty left out if they didn't go to church regularly
as the school is so involved. In this area pretty much the only way to
get a decent state education is to be Catholic. You have to get a letter
of recommendation from the priest so there is leeway if he thinks someone
is taking the mickey!" Julie
"I think it's good to do if it you want your kids to be the same religion
as you, but I can't understand why people do it if they aren't religious.
Just for a party and a pretty dress maybe? I've been meaning to get round
to have naming ceremonies for my girls and I'm sure I will one day. I
feel that if you do not have a religion, then a naming ceremony is a lovely
way to have a special day for your kid." Susan xxx
"I have NOT baptised my children and do not intend to. I am not religious
at all and see no point in registering my children into a religion I do
not believe in, it's silly. I know of people who do it simply to get into
the nearest catholic school ... fortunately, I'm not that desperate!"
Tracy
"I have had both my children christened as I am a practising Catholic
and intend to raise my children in the same way, although I am more than
willing for them to decide their own beliefs as they get older. I do not
agree with baptisms if you are then not going to attend Church unless
it suits you. I do however know a lot of people who do just that (not
all Catholics) and I do feel it is wrong." Angela
"Baptism is about accepting the faith. If you don't believe in the religion
you aren't going to follow the ways - hence the waste of time (and money!).
I have decided to wait, I take my son to church as I am a Christian, but
I wouldn't force it on him, and he can choose to be baptised when he's
older if that is what he wants." Diane
Where
to next?
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