 Get
back into your bed!
Why new mums should stay in bed for 10 days after giving birth
Mums today feel obliged to be up and about within hours of giving birth,
slipping back into their pre-pregnancy jeans, starting up their own business
and bashing out a book while still presenting a spotless house and serving
home cooked meals. It's not too surprising that mums feel exhausted with
many suffering from post-natal depression.
 According
to one expert midwife, Caroline Flint,pictured left, (past President of
the Royal College of Midwives and has been a midwife for 28 years) the
solution for mums is simple: stay in bed. In a new DVD 'Birthwise
- Your Creation, Your Choice', Caroline recommends that all mothers
should stay in bed for ten days after giving birth. She recommends that
expectant mums should plan ahead, creating a sanctuary in their bedroom
that will allow them to spend the first 10 days of their baby's life isolated
from the demands of everyday living.
"Many mums underestimate just what an impact having a baby will have
on their mental and physical well-being. Becoming a parent is an enormous
adjustment and women need to give themselves time to fully recover after
birth before trying to take on too much," says Caroline.
According to Caroline, the benefits of staying in bed include:
- Physical recovery: Even an easy birth without any intervention
is exhausting. Mothers need to give their bodies time to heal and re-energise,
particularly if they've had c-sections or other medical involvement.
- Mental and emotional adjustment: Becoming a mother is a life-changing
experience. It takes time to discover who you are in this new role.
It's also a tremendously emotional time, with hormone surges to deal
with. Mothers who stay in bed have the privacy of their rooms to feel
the range of emotions and have a good cry if they want to!
- Bonding with baby: Your baby is a brand new little human being
with its own emotions and personality. It's important for a mother to
spend time examining her baby, getting to know every bit of him - particularly
if they had a difficult birth and are battling to bond. The bedroom
sanctuary invites skin to skin contact, so critical in the early days.
- Establishing breastfeeding: Breastfeeding can take time to
master. With no other jobs to do other than be in bed, mums have the
chance to get to grips with breastfeeding, without interruption.
- Catch up on sleep: If you're up and about, it's very tempting
to put a load of laundry on or make a call while your baby has a nap.
In those early days, mothers need to sleep when their babies sleep.
It makes the night waking far more manageable. It's far easier to do
this when you're in bed.
For many busy mums, the thought of staying in bed for ten days seems
either like punishment or an impossible dream. But these three women who
watched the Birthwise DVD, all wanted to give it a try. Here are their
stories:
Profile 1: Melanie Brown from Norfolk, aged 36, married
to Will and mum to Sophia (1 month old)
Profile 2: First time mum, natural birth Rebecca Collins
of Richmond, aged 33, married to David and mum to 8 month old Cameron
Profile 3: Second time mum, C-section birth
Shirley McAlpine of London, married to Dan and mum to Honor (4) and Ethan
(7 months)
 Melanie
Brown from Norfolk, aged 36, married to Will and mum to Sophia (1 month
old)
During my pregnancy, my husband Will was working away from home. This
meant it was impossible for us to attend any ante-natal classes together.
I got the Birthwise DVD and watched it, while Will listened in via webcam.
When he returned (I was about 8 months pregnant), we watched it together
and agreed that we wanted to try the 10 days in bed post birth.
I'm really glad we did because I ended up having a 72 hour long labour,
which ended in an emergency c-section. I spent the first 4 days of my
time in bed in hospital, but then transferred back home and stayed in
bed for a further 7 days, so a total of 11! After the trauma of the birth,
I can honestly only describe my time in bed with Sophia as the most exquisite
experience of my life. We spent almost all of our time having skin to
skin contact. I literally spent hours just staring adoringly into her
eyes, marvelling at her and examining every part of her.
Sophia took to the breast very naturally, probably helped by the fact
that it was readily available whenever she wanted it. She slept (and still
does sleep) in the same bed as us, which meant that except for the occasional
nappy that needed to be changed, I never have to spend hours awake at
night. She simply latches on when she's hungry and we both drift back
to sleep.
It took my body a long time to heal physically after the birth, so staying
in bed was a must. But one of the key benefits staying in bed gave me
was the ability to identify Sophia's cues. I can tell just by looking
at her or listening to her whether she's hungry or tired or in need of
a nappy change. I think I know her so well because of the time we had
alone together. As a result, she's a very calm, settled, alert and secure
baby who never really cries because I know what she needs when she needs
it.
Logistically, we didn't do much different to our bedroom. We have a music
system in it so I played some of the music that I had recorded for the
birth. I didn't take any calls for the first 4 or 5 days and visitors
were very limited. Those who did come and visit, came to my room and didn't
stay long.
Will loved it too and was fully supportive of it. He would make us meals,
but otherwise would try to join us in bed when he could. He spent most
of our first three days at home in bed with us, so that we could bond
as a family. When he had to return to work, my mum took over the role
of providing meals and doing chores. She also enjoyed the quiet time we
had together.
We will absolutely be doing this again when we have another child. It
was just really fun and I'd recommend to every new mum.
 First
time mum, natural birth Rebecca Collins of Richmond, aged 33, married
to David and mum to 8 month old Cameron
As a first time mum, I wanted to be as informed as possible about what
would happen during and after the birth. I attended antenatal classes
for the practical basics, but also watched the Birthwise DVD which gave
me more inside information so that I felt more in control. I was intrigued
by the idea presented in the DVD to stay in bed for 10 days.
After discussing it, David and I thought it would be manageable so before
Cameron arrived, I turned our spare bedroom into my little post birth
sanctuary. We put a TV in the room, magazines, a telephone and all the
baby kit so that it was ready for me to move into as soon as we got back
from the hospital.
I was lucky enough to have an easy, natural birth but I was still exhausted,
particularly as I couldn't sleep for three days after giving birth, a
combination of adrenalin and fear that something would happen to Cameron.
It was fabulous having the luxury to sleep when I wanted to during the
day so that I could catch up. The only time I left the room (besides bathroom
visits) was occasional half hour sessions in the living room when guests
came to visit. But David always encouraged me to go back to bed after
30 minutes.
I spent most of my 10 days sleeping, watching TV, eating lots of energy
giving snacks, chatting to friends on the phone and bonding with Cameron.
It also gave me the chance to really get the hang of breastfeeding. It
took me a while to get it right, I found it quite difficult. But with
no other distractions, I persevered and did it! I ended up breastfeeding
Cameron for six months and I don't think I would have if I'd not had the
chance to concentrate on getting it right.
My husband David was a star and did all the cooking, running of the
house and managing visitors. He found it pretty hard going, but I know
he felt that he played an active role in enabling me to recover and learn
how to breastfeed.
Cameron is now a very contented baby and I firmly believe that this is
partly due to the relaxed start he had in the first ten days of his life.
After 7 days, I finally felt strong enough to leave my room but I simply
moved to the living areas and didn't do anything more than look after
Cameron. After ten days I finally left the house feel physically and emotionally
much stronger and ready to share my baby with the world.
I will definitely do it again with our second child. I've already thought
about how I would manage the logistics of it given we'll have two children
to take care of, but my mum will come and stay to help look after Cameron
so that I can get to know our new baby.
As one of the producers of the Birthwise DVD, I wanted to put some of
its suggestions into practice when I gave birth to my second child. My
husband Dan and I discussed what we'd need before the baby arrived so
that everything was in place the minute we got home from the hospital.
We simply used our bedroom as the sanctuary, which has music, aromatherapy
and lights that can be dimmed. I decided against having a TV in the room
so that I wouldn't get distracted and so that when Ethan slept, I'd sleep
too.
As I already had a child, there were some logistical hurdles we had to
overcome. But we arranged that Dan would be off for five days and that
my mum would also be there when I came out of hospital. She stayed for
a couple of days initially and also came back for another couple once
Dan had gone to work. Then my cousin also came to for a day. Their role
was to look after me with anything that I needed, which they happily agreed
to. Critically, they also had to take care of Honor as it was a difficult
period of adjustment for her. Knowing that she was well-loved and looked
after by people she is familiar with allowed me to concentrate all of
my attention on Ethan.
I ended up having an unplanned c-section, which made the ten days in
bed even more necessary as I was barely able to move. During the ten days,
I simply spent time with Ethan and slept. I had all my meals in bed and
sometimes Dan and Honor would join me for them. Visitors were limited
and even the midwife and health visitors came to see me in bed.
The special time spent with Ethan was really invaluable. It allowed me
to get to know him - I spent ages just staring at him. We got plenty of
skin to skin contact. He is truly a settled baby and although I can't
say with certainly what the source of it is, these early days created
a strong foundation for our relationship.
The time in bed also gave me the time and space I needed to establish
breastfeeding. Even though I had breastfed Honor, I had found it difficult.
I felt more confident allowing myself time to learn how to do it with
Ethan. The rest also help me to heal as the caesarean had taken a real
toll on my body and it was great not having to force my body to do anything
prematurely. And then there was the ability to sleep and sleep and sleep.
This was so crucial given how little sleep I got in the night.
I think for the 10 days in bed to work, you need a supportive partner.
Dan was brilliant doing the shopping, cleaning and looking after Honor.
He'd regularly check in on me and tell me how great I was doing. Dan says
the big benefit for him was knowing that he was supporting me with what
I wanted and what would make a difference in me providing for Ethan.
I am so glad that I had it set up beforehand having not anticipated a
caesarean I am not sure how I would have coped otherwise. These were very
special days with Ethan that I will cherish and am grateful for. I did
not have to be a 'superwoman', I could just be. I remember the early days
as quite vulnerable days and this gave me space to heal from the birth,
talk about it and process it also.
The Birthwise DVD
is available from www.birthwisedvd.com
for £29.99
Where to next?
|
Second
time mum, C-section birth Shirley McAlpine of London, married to Dan and
mum to Honor (4) and Ethan (7 months) 
