Is your man a Dad or a Lad?

We take a (fun!) look at daddy. What makes some men doting fathers and others lifelong lads?

Gone are the days when fatherhood consisted merely of signing cheques and reluctantly kicking a football around in the park on Saturday. Today, dads are cool, with hands-on celebrity fathers like Jamie Oliver and Jude Law giving dads a good name again.

Devoted fathers in the public eye are all too happy to be seen pushing a pram and doing the school run. Johnny Vaughan cites the three-wheel buggy as the hottest male accessory, ex-lad Guy Ritchie thinks nothing of cuddling little Rocco in public and even Ozzy Osbourne gives fatherhood a ringing endorsement, albeit littered with expletives.

But, there are still dads out there who are finding it hard not to behave like lads. Think of Steve Bing, whose refusal to acknowledge Liz Hurley's son Damian as his own, has put him top of babyworld's bad dads poll, with a staggering 55 per cent of votes. Nappy-phobic Gordon Ramsey, Boris Becker's strop over the birth of a flame-haired baby after a five minute fumble in a cupboard with Angela Ermakowa and Dwight Yorke's immature refusal to admit responsibility for Jordan's growing bump are further examples of laddish behaviour in the face of fatherhood.

Spokesperson for Parentline plus and author of Your Kids, My Kids, (Hodder & Stoughton), Suzie Hayman insists that father's get their parenting models from their own fathers. "You learn to be a parent from your own parent. So, if your father was there for you or a good father, (although not necessarily in a textbook style), you will repeat that behaviour in your own life."

Betty Parsons, author of The Expectant Father (Elliot Right Way Books) and a parenting expert with some 40 years' experience under her belt, advocates balance and gentle compromise to turn your man from his laddish tendencies. "If you force him into it, he'll run away. Take it gently and you'll find that his emotional engagement will increase straight away."

The key to turning your man from lad to dad is in communication. Hayman suggests that lads who are unable to face up to fatherhood are simply trying to address emotional needs which were not met by their own parents. "Show him the benefits of being a dad, and perhaps talk to him about his own father. The love between a father and his offspring is like nothing else - talk to any dad who's involved with his kids and he'll tell you that."

Where to next?

• Find out what makes a great dad
• Share your thoughts, in our Views on the News discussion forum
• Dads - discover what's involved with being at the birth
• Check out our section especially for dads and dads-to-be
• Read about the support fathers can give during labour
• Visit Fathers Direct