Real-life inspiration:
TESA success stories

As these stories show some couples will do anything to have a baby! Be inspired and enjoy their stories, and we hope you experience their good luck.

MICHELLE: 'His problem was our problem'

Our journey began in December 1997, when after trying for a baby for two years, we were told that my husband Simon wouldn't be able to father children naturally. Simon is an insulin-dependent diabetic, and at times, this alone is difficult enough to deal with without being told it could have contributed to his infertility.

We felt like our dreams had collapsed, but this was our problem and we would get through it as a couple.

All about me…

Name: Michelle
Age: 31
Job: Full-time mum, part-time domestic help
Lives: Gloucester
Significant others: Husband Simon, 31, and son Jack, 3
Type of treatment: TESA, ICSI
Trying for: 5 years and continuing

Be optimistic, but be realistic. Assisted reproduction is both mentally and physically tiring, but don't give up on your dreams.

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It was December 1997 when we were told that Simon wouldn't be able to father children naturally. Simon is an insulin-dependent diabetic, which is difficult enough to deal with at times. Being told that it could have contributed to his infertility was a major blow.

For me, it was exceptionally difficult to deal with. There is nothing medically wrong with me but I wanted a child with my husband, the man I love. We felt like our dreams had collapsed, but this was our problem and we would deal with it and get through it as a couple.

June 1998 saw our first appointment at the Centre of Reproductive Medicine, Bristol University. Hope at last. Two months later, Simon underwent surgical sperm recovery. The outcome, we were told, was not too favourable.

In November that year, we had our first attempt at ICSI. We were both feeling excited but anxious, and looking forward to getting on with it. It's at this point that it hits you, when you realise that it's just the beginning and you're not guaranteed in getting a baby. Simon underwent his second operation, resulting in enough sperm for this attempt, and to freeze. I underwent egg recovery and they were good quality. ICSI resulted in two good embryos. Two were transferred to the womb.

Two weeks later, we found that it had failed. We were devastated and endured yet another miserable Christmas. But despite our disappointment, we were determined that it would work, so we picked ourselves up and told the clinic that we wanted to do a second attempt - and the sooner the better!

In the New Year, we had our second attempt, this time using our frozen sperm. We were optimistic but not over-confident. This time, the ICSI resulted in three good embryos.

Nine days later, I started to bleed. The clinic didn't know why, as it was too early for it to be failing. A week later and still spotting, a faint but positive test confirmed that I was pregnant at last. However, the spotting continued until around 12 weeks.

Those weeks were the worst of my life. I didn't want to speak to or see anyone. The constant 'am I or aren't I?' nearly drove me round the bend. Even when morning sickness kicked in with a vengeance, I was still too frightened to be hopeful.

Eventually, things calmed down and a risk-free, although terribly sickly, pregnancy followed and Jack was born by emergency C-section on 6th November 1999. We wanted the whole world to know that we had finally succeeded!

As soon as Jack was born, I said that I wanted to do it all again, but three years later, we're still trying. Naively, we didn't expect to be struggling to get our second child. Jack sometimes asks when he can have a baby brother and his innocent question cuts me in two. We're still young and know we can do it, but the failure hits us harder because we know it works.

No one has the answers for us - no one can predict the outcome. We don't tell anyone about it when we're going through it, so there's less pressure on us.

When we first embarked on this adventure, we thought we'd be content with one child. Jack is the most fantastic and beautiful child and we are truly blessed to have him. Some say we should be grateful with the one we've got, but having a child and knowing what it's like being a parent creates a greater urge to have more.

It's our dream to have two children. But although I know I can keep going through the treatment, our bank balance can't. So far, we've spent around £20,000. The NHS will not help with the funding but and I often wonder why we should have to pay for what should be one of the most natural things in the world.

It doesn't control our lives, but unfortunately, it's a very major part of it. It's put us through one hell of an emotional roller-coaster, put us in debt, taken my dignity, made me feel as though I'm going mental and left me so bitter at times. But I've seen that there are others worse off than us, it's taught us to fight, not to take things for granted, and above all, has given us the most precious thing in our lives: Jack. It's all worth it.

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