Success happens: against the odds

After 12 years of trying to conceive, Leah Morris had given up all hopes of having another baby and was beginning to look into the possibility of surrogacy. But after several failed fertility treatments and a miscarriage, miraculously, Leah is now 14 weeks pregnant.

Leah, 36, already has a 16-year-old son from her first marriage. She married Tony, her new partner, 12 years ago and they have been trying for a baby ever since. The last six years have taken them on an emotional rollercoaster which is still rolling, but they are both just beginning to believe that just maybe this time they’ve done it.

This is Leah and Tony’s moving story, spanning 12 years, as told by Leah.

In the beginning

At first, we were not too concerned that we had not conceived - I was involved in my career and our attitude was 'if it happens, great'. But, after six years of marriage and several of our friends and family falling pregnant easily during this time, we began to wonder if there might be a problem.

I underwent some investigations and it was found that I had a large ovarian cyst on one of my ovaries. I went to hospital to have the cyst removed and during the operation my doctors discovered that I was also suffering from a fairly bad case of endometriosis. Although I had been experiencing painful periods, I hadn't realised this wasn't normal and so hadn't been aware that something could be wrong.

I was prescribed Danazol for the endometriosis which, as well as stopping my periods altogether, had some fairly unpleasant side effects. But I persisted with the side effects and four months after starting the Danazol, I thought I might be pregnant so I saw my GP who carried out some tests.

Although an internal examination suggested that I was nine weeks pregnant, my urine and blood tests were inconclusive. A scan revealed that my uterus was enlarged but there was no baby. I did not experience any kind of miscarriage and my doctors were unable to tell me whether I had been pregnant or whether I had experienced a phantom pregnancy.

Six months later another cyst was found on the same ovary and was removed. Shortly before Christmas I had what I thought to be a miscarriage, although a subsequent blood test did not indicate a pregnancy.

Fertility drugs

Four years ago, I was prescribed the fertility drug Clomiphene (or Clomid) to stimulate ovulation but after six months with no results I started a course of gonadotrophin injections as well. I continued with this treatment for a further six months during which time I became quite ill, the stress of this whole process was really beginning to tear me apart and the longer the treatment went on, the higher my stress levels became. So I decided to give myself a break from the drugs for a few months. About four months later I did start taking Clomiphene again but only stayed on it for a couple of months with no results.

During this time, my gynaecologist warned me that my eggs were not of good quality and suggested egg donation. I met with more bad news when I tried - and failed - to get us onto an egg donor programme: at the age of 34 I was considered too old for the programme operating in my area.

At this point my sister came to see me and told me that she would be prepared to have a baby for us, we discussed it for some time and it was while we were still considering the pros and cons that I was suddenly told I had been accepted to take part in an IVF programme on clinical trial in Cambridge.

We were ecstatic to have the chance to take part in the trial. My hormone levels were measured regularly and, over the course of three months, the doctors saw my hormone levels rise and told me that this indicated I was beginning the menopause. I was also told that my current hormone levels meant that I would be unable to sustain a pregnancy.

Devastation

We were utterly devastated. By Christmas I felt I was about ready to give up all hope as I felt I had reached the end of a long and painful tunnel. I saw surrogacy as my only remaining option. I went back to my sister and this time we started having lengthy and very serious discussions about surrogacy.

But, two months later, in February this year, I had an unexplained ‘feeling’ that I was pregnant – I hadn't missed a period but I 'felt' pregnant. Much to my gynaecologist's amazement I was right and I was pregnant. It felt like a miracle, we dared not to believe it but couldn’t help the welling up of hope and happiness. I had a scan and it showed our 7 week baby – it was really happening.

But my second scan, at 10 weeks, showed that our baby had died at 9 weeks and I totally fell apart. I had reached total devastation. I resigned from my job and didn’t want to see or talk to anyone at all. Our relationship took a battering for several weeks, until I realised just how devastated Tony was too: I had shut him out as I felt he couldn't possibly understand because he hadn't been carrying the baby. However, expressing all our feelings to each other and feeling the others’ support and need, was the beginning of my recovery.

Just three months after losing my baby, I found that I was pregnant again.

Today

I am now 14 weeks into my pregnancy, all is going well. I have a scan every week and will see my consultant once a fortnight until I reach 20 weeks. Every time I go for a scan I still expect the worst. I'm taking every day as it comes and I don't dare make too many plans but as the pregnancy progresses I'm becoming more confident. I feel so lucky that I have managed to get pregnant, I'm over the moon.

I wanted to tell my story to you on babyworld as I found it very hard to meet people who were in our situation and from whom we could gain support, advice and even just a sympathetic ear. I hope that my story offers some comfort to everyone who is trying for a baby.