Real-life inspiration:
Donor Insemination success stories

As these stories show some couples will do anything to have a baby! Be inspired and enjoy their stories, and we hope you experience their good luck.

SASKIA: 'I sometimes feel as though I am the only person in the world who has tried to conceive in this way'

After 12 months of trying for a baby without success we decided to go to the doctor to see if there was anything medically wrong with either of us. We went along fully expecting to be told nothing was wrong and that we just needed to be patient. We were both only 25, reasonably fit and healthy with no other complications, so we really didn't expect anything to be wrong.

Name: Saskia
Age: 27
Lives:Cheshire
Significant others:Husband Neil
Type of treatment: DI
Trying for: Trying for 12 months naturally before undergoing tests, then further 18 months before conceiving

Our advice to others in this situation is - don't give up, explore all avenues and keep talking to each another.

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The first step was for me to have blood tests to check my hormone levels and for Neil to give a semen test. Imagine our surprise when we rang for the results of his test and were told that no sperm had been detected and he had to do another sample. He did this, and the results came back the same - no sperm detected at all in the sample.

After being referred to a urologist for further testing, he was diagnosed with a genetic disorder called Klinefelters Syndrome (also know as 47XXY). This means that instead of having the normal number of chromosomes for a man, (i.e. 46XY), he has an extra chromosome. Because of this extra chromosome, he doesn't produce testosterone and therefore his body doesn't produce sperm.

Although there have been cases where KS men have fathered children through ICSI, the odds aren't very good and the cost is prohibitively high. So we had three options: remain childlessness, consider adoption or use Donor Insemination (DI). After much consideration, we decided we would look further into DI and decided this was the option for us as, compared to ICSI, the success rates were a lot higher but the cost a lot smaller, (approx £300 a go). Plus, this would give me the chance to experience pregnancy and birth, which was very important to me.

It's very hard to describe what you're feeling when you've been told you can't have children and, due to the unusualness of the problem, I felt particularly alone.

I've always sympathised with women who've had to undergo IVF, but I started to think at least they had the option to have their own child, whereas I had to accept that I would never have my husband's child. No amount of treatment - nothing short of a miracle - could make this happen. I also had to accept that I might not have any children at all as, although relatively successful, there was still a chance DI wouldn't work. You only get one shot at it per month, so the odds are stacked against you.

I sometimes feel as though I am the only person in the world who has tried to conceive in this way, although obviously this is not the case. But DI doesn't seem to be either widely accepted or acknowledged in this country.

I have been on many internet sites regarding infertility. There are hundreds of stories of IVF/ICSI, but there isn't much about DI (more so on American sites than UK).

As far as my husband's feelings go, he has been very open and honest about DI, but I don't know exactly how he feels about never being able to have a biological child and I don't think I ever will.

There have been times when he's cried in front of me about it and I often catch him thinking about it, but I didn't want to press him. He knows that I'm there for him whenever he needs to talk. I'm impressed with how practically-minded he has been about it - he realised we had to make the best out of a difficult situation.

I kept asking him "are you sure you want to do this?", because I didn't want him to agree just to please me. But he has been very supportive about my decision to use DI as he knew it was the best chance he'd have of becoming a father, although he did admit that at the first insemination he did feel uncomfortable. But, he knows from personal experience that your Dad is not necessarily the man who fathered you - he's the man who brought you up and cared for and loved you. I know Neil will do unconditionally.

Our advice to others in this situation is - don't give up, explore all avenues and keep talking to each another.

We had to be very honest and open with one another as this was a huge decision but we both made the right choice and now eagerly await the arrival of our baby later this year.

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