Debbie Gilmour's home birth story
Jessica, born 12th December 2005 was a home water birth after Caesarean
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My son was born by emergency c-section after induction and
the awful 'cascade of intervention' that followed. It was an absolutely
horrendous experience and I suffered badly, emotionally and physically.
When I fell pregnant again, just 9 months after Harry was
born, I was all over the place with my emotions and had early pregnancy
problems. Once I was reassured that I was not losing the baby and that
all was well, my thoughts turned to the labour and birth. I started researching
and found lots of information, especially on Babyworld, about vbac (vaginal
birth after c-section) and home birth.
 I
quickly decided that the only way I would be able to achieve the natural
birth I wanted was to do it at home. My husband's first reaction was,
"Well, you'll be screaming for an epidural so you'll have to be in hospital"!!
You can imagine my response to that!
Anyway, I had transferred hospitals, argued with consultants
and midwives, and finally blasted in to my doctor's surgery, all guns
blazing, to the midwife (Sue Griffiths) who had only recently moved here
from England. Poor woman! I think she wondered what on earth was going
to happen - I was so worked up that my (usually low) blood pressure was
quite high!
However, she was fantastically calming, listened to all
my concerns and my demand to be booked for a home birth and went back to
the hospital to set the ball rolling
The very next day, the lead midwife (Dorothy Finlay) of
the community unit in our hospital phoned me. I had no idea how much this
woman was going to change my life forever! She said she would visit me
at home and have a chat about everything. I asked her what she needed
(thinking she would demand a birth plan, evidence of research, doctor's
letters etc) and she replied - tea and biscuits!!
Dorothy arrived with my notes and sat with me for at least
2 hours, going through what had happened last time. She listened to my
ranting about my appalling treatment and my subsequent research and new
demands!
She was absolutely amazing and so kind and gentle and supportive,
I finally felt I had someone on my side. When I asked Dorothy what her
opinion, off the record, was about my plans for a home water birth, she
replied (whilst gesturing to the playroom), "That is where the pool should
go"! Needless to say, I was over the moon and felt like I could maybe
get my dream birth after all.
 On
the day I actually went into labour, I checked the rota and saw that neither
Sue or Dorothy were on it (despite putting themselves down for as many
shifts as they possibly could) so I called my doula.
Later on, we called the midwives and May Henderson appeared,
along with someone else who I can't actually remember! May was unbelievably
kind and supportive. I felt that she really cared, on a personal level,
about me and my baby and really wanted me to achieve my dream birth.
She was calm and knowledgeable, listened to me with respect
and treated me very gently indeed.
Later on, Dorothy arrived. Well, this was the icing on the
cake! She had given up her day off to come and be with me and I still
remember the extra relaxation I felt at the time. She was the voice of
reason and spoke to me calmly but firmly. When my contractions became
very painful and my scar was hurting, she ordered someone to call an ambulance
immediately but as soon as it was clear that there was no danger, she
cancelled it and sent them away.
This was, as she told me later, one of the bravest decisions
of their careers. What it meant to me was that I was able to give birth
at home, in the way I wanted and needed.
It was the most amazing experience of my life and has healed
all the wounds and hurt from the birth of my son. It made me believe in
myself and also the NHS too and when my husband asked me later if I had
looked at my birth plan recently, we realized that every single thing
I had written down was achieved.
I look back to that day and think of these midwives - Dorothy,
Sue and May, with the fantastic feeling of achievement, self-belief and
love that comes from having an empowered birth.
My husband has told me "no more children!", but he has admitted
that it was fantastic and, as his previous children were all born by emergency
c-section, to see a natural birth has stunned and amazed him. He is in
awe of my midwives and Dorothy, in particular, reassured and comforted
him in all of his questions and worries.
If I ever win the lottery, these three ladies will receive
a massive cheque from me with immense gratitude! Without them, my husband
would have panicked in a much worse way and would probably not have been
able to stay with me for the birth!
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