 Meet
Hilary, the
award-winning Doula!
In 1999, actress Hilary Whitehall (née Gish left of picture) put her
acting career on hold to train as a post-birth doula. Seven years later,
her success speaks for itself: Hilary has become the first doula to win
a national childcare award in the 'One in a Million' awards set up by
the Recruitment and Employment Confederation (REC). Hilary spoke to Sam
Pope about her career to date and what it is that makes her job so wonderful.
How I became a doula
"My career as an actress started as soon as I left school 30 years ago.
I married and had my children quite young so I never really made it 'big'
but have done various bits and pieces over the years, in such programmes
as The Bill and The Inspector Linley Mysteries. I also spent five fantastic
days on the set of Fierce Creatures, the follow-up to A Fish Called Wanda.
I was in a scene with Kevin Kline and Jamie Lee Curtis, who were a riot
to work with but unfortunately my only line ended up on the cutting-room
floor.
"In 1999, my three children Jacky, Molly and Barney (now 18, 16 and
14, respectively) were all at boarding school and I started thinking about
what I could to help pay the ridiculously high school fees. My mother
saw an article in the Sunday Times about doulas and mentioned it to me
because she knows I absolutely adore babies. At this point in time, the
movement was still pretty new in the UK compared to the States. I looked
into it and took the four-day training course that Jean Birtles, head
of organisation British Doulas, was running. I have also completed a five-month
City & Guilds qualification to build on my knowledge.
"After qualification at the end of 1999, I had the choice of being either
a birth or post-birth doula and I opted for the latter. Since I was spending
many of my weekends visiting my children at boarding school, I couldn't
commit to being on call in case a client went into labour. In any case
the type of work that post-birth doulas undertake really appealed to me,
as did the opportunity to spend lots of time around babies!
The differences between a maternity nurse and a
doula
"People often don't understand the difference between a doula and a maternity
nurse but there's quite a big one. Maternity nurses tend to live in, work
full time with a client and their main responsibility is caring for the
baby. Post-birth doulas, on the other hand, are there to mother the mother.
We will do anything to help her out, from shopping, cooking, cleaning
to taking the baby out so she can have a rest and even mowing the lawn!
I recently had two clients, both of whom were moving house and I ended
up spending much of my time packing things in bubble wrap!
"Often, what a mum wants more than anything else is to talk to someone
about her fears, worries and generally how she's feeling. It's tough being
a mother these days; without an extended family around to help her in
those first few weeks, it's easy to see why mums need to be reassured
that they are doing well. In addition, if you used to be a high-flying
career woman, suddenly being at home 24/7 can be very isolating.
"I normally work with clients for the first six to eight weeks after
birth, normally up to the eight-week check. This usually is enough time
to help them get established and feeling more confident. Sometimes I visit
just after the birth for a week or so and then disappear for a couple
of weeks if the husband has paternity leave or one or both of the child's
grandmothers are coming to stay to help. Occasionally I go in to help
at six or eight weeks after the birth, normally to help a mum who's struggling
to cope and who might have postnatal depression.
"At the beginning, I normally pop in every day for up to four hours,
then gradually reduce the number of visits per week over the eight-week
period. I can do whole days if the client prefers, or even split the days
up into two shifts. One client I had was terrified of bathing her baby,
so I went in for a couple of hours earlier in the day, went to another
client, then came back in the evening to help with the bedtime/bathtime
routine. Everyone has my number in case they need to contact me in between
visits and they hardly ever abuse the privilege. If they have ever had
to call me in an emergency, they are normally very apologetic about it.
Talking about common problems
"As well as practical help and support, my clients often want advice
on common problem areas, including establishing a routine (or not), breastfeeding
and bathtime. With all of these I advise the parents to go with what they
are most comfortable with but, if they really have no preference, then
I share some of my own opinions with them.
"For example, I am a very strong believer in establishing a good bedtime
routine, involving a feed, then playtime, then a bath and finally another
feed. This fits into another area of concern; parents are unsure whether
they need to bathe their baby every night. Generally I think it's a good
idea, unless they have very dry or problematic skin. It's not for cleanliness,
it's more about helping babies settle into a routine and giving them cues
so they know what's coming next.
"Breastfeeding is another huge area of concern with mums. Most of my
clients do breastfeed and manage it well, although I had one poor woman
whose baby just would not suck. In the end I had to call in a professional
breastfeeding counsellor to sort out the problem. Other mums ask, if they
have a hungry baby, whether it's OK to give formula for the last feed
at night so they can get a bit more of a rest.
I have made some wonderful friends
"The profile of doulas has certainly increased in recent years, thanks
to greater coverage in the national press, on the internet and through
word of mouth. It has been a gradual, steady process of making the public
more aware of who we are and what we can offer. A mum might not want someone
living in her house full time but would appreciate an extra pair of hands
around the place when things are getting on top of her a bit. We can provide
that flexibility and just be there for the mother when she needs us most.
"My career as a doula has really taken off, to the extent that I cannot
accept any acting roles at present. I have put that on hold so I can concentrate
on this job as I love what I do and it's so rewarding seeing people make
progress. My clients have become such good friends: you should see my
Christmas card list! Winning the award was wonderful and a lot of credit
for this must be given to Jean Birtles, who has worked so hard to promote
the role of doulas in the UK and supports us all so tirelessly.
Where to next?
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