Raising a son in the land of the rising sunNicola had her first baby in Japan and is now settling into raising her son. Here she brings us a unique and personal account of grappling with the new-mother and health customs in Osaka where she lives with her family.
Postnatal customs Japanese-style
A private train carriage for breastfeeding!Usually I lied about his age whenever anyone asked, claiming he was a month old and most people accepted this since he was quite a bit bigger than the average newborn baby here. Occasionally though, the rebel in me confirmed to the innocent enquirer that he was in fact only three weeks old and they hastily backed away, worried that he might become sick just by being looked at.
Women in Japan are expected to breastfeed but paradoxically they are also expected to supplement with formula. My own research before John was born confirmed that this isn't a good idea if you want to maintain your own milk supply and so I planned to breastfeed exclusively, thereby avoiding the nightmare of trying to translate the kanji instructions on packets of Japanese formula! At John's early check-ups the nurses were astonished that I hadn't supplemented John's milk and I was relieved that he gained weight well because otherwise I know I would have come under pressure to give him formula. 18 immunisations later…When John reached 6 months old I received a card calling us for his BCG immunisation. By coincidence, my next door neighbour had a baby girl three days before I had John and as both babies were called for their jabs at the same time, she offered to drive us to the clinic. My neighbour's grasp of English is only a little better than my Japanese which sadly meant that although we could both say hello, tell the time and order a beer in each other's languages, more useful conversation was somewhat stilted. Nevertheless, I felt touched by the kindness she showed us in trying to ensure that we understood what was going on. About 60 babies were immunised that day with almost military precision as we rotated in small groups around various rooms. I had enough trouble working out which rooms I had to take my shoes (and sometimes slippers) off for without even trying to understand what was actually being said! Somehow we managed to get through the various stages and John came away with 18 little holes in his left arm, which thankfully have almost disappeared now. Finding new friends and socialisingAs a new mother I was keen to find new friends with young babies to socialise with and, following the difficulty I'd had communicating effectively with my neighbour, I decided I needed to work on my Japanese. Through a connection at the City Hall I discovered an international exchange society that offer free Japanese lessons to foreign residents and even provide free babysitting. This meant that John was able to play with the other babies and young children whilst I grappled with daily life vocabulary and, amongst other things the 50 odd different words for a fish! After a month or so my confidence was growing, so much so that when a lady I'd never met before asked if I'd like to attend their mother and baby group (or so I thought…) I readily accepted, thinking she must be part of the City's international exchange group. I can only blame the excitement of actually understanding some of what was said for my subsequent irrational behaviour. I had agreed that we would be collected the following Tuesday to be driven to the venue. When we arrived John was taken into the adjoining room with the other babies, whilst the mothers broke into small groups to chat. Alarm bells didn't start ringing until one of the ladies in my group enthused about the "meetings" she went to at 5am every day. At this point I realised all probably wasn't as it appeared and so, still smiling, I made my excuses, collected John and left. It wasn't until I got home and really thought about what could have happened that I realised how complacent I had become in Japan. I have certainly been more cautious about meeting new people here since that experience. On the whole though, Nick and I have been overwhelmed by the kindness we have experienced towards our family. The sense of community and generosity here makes raising a family so much easier and I know that when the time finally comes for us to leave, we will feel very sad indeed. Where to next?
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We
brought John home when he was 5 days old, having been told by the midwives
that we should keep him indoors until he was a month old. I was expected
to stay in bed for the first two weeks after the delivery and then be
in and out of bed during the third week. The staying in bed part sounded
quite good to me and I had thought that I would embrace this particular
Japanese custom wholeheartedly. However, by day 7 I felt like a caged
animal and for my own sanity I needed to get out. I took John out in his
new pram for short walks around the neighbourhood and he attracted plenty
of attention, not least because you just don't see large, three wheeled
prams in Japan. Here the emphasis is on small and practical and so we'd
imported our 3 in 1 from England before John was born. Heads turned everywhere
we went and young children raced over to see what exactly it was that
I was pushing round. 
At
five weeks old we took John to Hiroshima; a 3 hour train ride on Japan's
high speed bullet train. My parents had come to visit us and we wanted
to make the most of their time here so we braved the cold weather and
set off early one morning in March. On the whole, mother and baby facilities
in Japan are excellent, not least on public transport. We discovered that
the bullet train had a private room for nursing mothers, which contained
a couple of first class seats, a table and curtained window. My mother
and I therefore travelled most of the way with John in the relative luxury
of our private carriage!
