Sleeping - by the book!We wish there was a foolproof method we could give you to get your child to sleep! The truth is, we don't think there is one. What works perfectly for one family may be a complete non-starter in another. Take your pick from these most common sleep programmes which babyworld members have tried and tested.
Let them cry It seems this technique is becoming less and less popular with today's
parents - who only seem to resort to it out of desperation - when other
attempts have failed! Childcare guru Benjamin Spock MD was first credited
with this technique - a charge which he denies in the revised version
of his 1. Babies up to six months, who resist being put to bed in the early
evening. Perhaps they suffered from colic and were used to being carried
around by their parents until they eventually succumbed to sleep. Once
they are on the mend, the parents don't see the need to carry on this
routine, but the babies, naturally, rather like it! Spock's advice in
this situation is as follows: "The habit is usually easy to break once
parents realise it as bad for the baby as it is for them. The cure is
simple: put the baby to bed at a reasonable hour, say good night affectionately
but firmly, walk out the room and don't go back." The method for both problems is the same - to leave the babies to
sort themselves out. "Most babies … will cry furiously for 20 or 30
minutes the first night, and then when nothing happens, they suddenly
fall asleep! The second night [it] is apt to last ten minutes (although
it may seem like much longer). The third night there usually isn't any
at all." Tried and tested: "I don't think it's cruel to let a child cry
themselves to sleep, but it is a hard thing to do. One thing that helped
me with my daughter was what an analyst told me. Basically, a very young
baby, who is prone to being over-stimulated anyway, needs to cry as
a way of shutting out all external noise etc. That helped me to think
she just has to do this, she has to sleep, she needs to do it alone,
every time I pick her up I'm disturbing this possibility. And it's much
easier to do when they're v. young and can't deliberately keep themselves
awake. With my daughter, now 14 months, I do respond to the way in which
she cries. I know now she has a 'sleep cry' but I know when she's actually
really upset and always give her a cuddle. I couldn't do the full on
controlled crying thing. I'd be a nervous wreck!" Gina Ford … and controlled crying Controlled crying is a technique that has received favourable feedback from parents, health professionals and authors alike. Controversial childcare guru and former nanny Gina Ford agrees with its theory, in combination with a structured routine from an early age, including naps at the same time every day and bed by seven. Gina Ford's advice on sleeping does depend on the age of the baby, so it is worth checking out her theories in more detail in The Complete Sleep Guide for Contented Babies and Toddlers (see below) .The controlled crying technique can be accredited to the Director of the Center for Paediatric Sleep Disorders in Boston, Dr Richard Ferber. The basic premise is as follows:1. Establish a quiet, relaxing bedtime routine starting around an hour before you put your baby to bed. A bath, followed by a bedtime story and feed is ideal. 2. Make sure you put your baby to bed awake, then leave the room. 3. If your baby cries, don't rush in immediately. Wait a few minutes before checking. 4. If and when you go in, try t soothe your baby by talking to her quietly but don't pick her up, or rock or feed her. 5. Gradually increase the periods of time between checking on your baby. Some people check after the first five minutes, then the next ten, then 15 (or as long as your nerves can stand). Remember not to pick your baby up. Use steps 3-5 of the above technique if your child awakes in the middle of the night. Ferber predicts that a week will be enough to sort the problem out and for your baby to realise that crying will get them nowhere. Pros: This is a great compromise for parents who want to find
an effective solution to sleep problems but who cannot either bear to
hear their child cry or leave their child without checking that they
are OK. Tried and tested "My baby is now 13 weeks and I did controlled crying at 6 weeks and
it was a life saver. She then started settling herself into a routine
without me doing anything. I put her down after a feed at 7.00pm as
she had spent all the time before that crying and feeding between 6.00pm-10.00pm
which made my evenings difficult. Once we got over the first 4-5 nights
she realised this was going to happen anyway and adjusted herself. She
has a one-hour nap in the morning and a couple of hours in the afternoon
and then goes down after her evening feed absolutely fine now. Obviously
it is all down to individuals but I think the earlier you can get them
into their routine the better. You have to feel brave when you first
do it (like when you first put them in their Moses basket for a daytime
sleep) but perseverance was the best thing we did. We now have our evenings
to eat together and chat which is wonderful." Tracy Hogg, RNMH, has been dubbed the "Baby Whisperer" by her clients. She is a British-trained nurse, lactation educator, and newborn consultant, and has cared for babies and their families for the past 24 years. Her approach to helping to understand what babies want and need is by listening to their cries and tuning in to their body language.The Baby Whisperer, Tracy Hogg (Vermilion, £10.99) Hogg is not an advocator of the controlled crying method because she thinks it breaks the bond of trust between parent and baby, because the baby is left to cry alone. Instead, she suggests her own method - pick-up/put-down - at bedtime. The basic idea is you pick your baby up when he or she is upset, gently rock, pat or soothe them. The moment they settle, put them back in the cot. As soon as they become upset again (even if this is immediate), pick the up again and resume the soothing technique. You should not leave the room in between. This method can also be done in combination with back-rubbing, etc, in the cot to try and settle them. Hoggs' supporters are firm in their belief of her method, and from the feedback it does seem she has a high success rate. Be warned though that success isn't guaranteed immediately: it can sometimes take up to 100 attempts of picking up and putting down when you first start! Pros: It's a no-cry method, gentler on mum (or dad!) and baby,
if crying upsets you. Tried and tested "For me, this was a much better way of getting DS to sleep on his
own as it didn't involve lots of crying - something which is much more
stressful than you could imagine before becoming a mum!" "I tried it and I think would have worked had I stuck to it. Unfortunately,
when I was tired I found it too difficult. Definitely worth a go though." The No Cry Sleep Solution The No Cry Sleep Solution, Elizabeth Pantley (Contemporary Books, £9.99) Elizabeth Pantley is a mother of four and has been through the sleepless nights too. She recognises that many parents hate the idea of listening to their child cry in an effort to get them to sleep through, but also understands that parents need their sleep too! Her method is as follows: 1. Get some sleep! Before you do anything, take a
break from dealing with the sleep problem for a few weeks. Do whatever
it takes to get your baby back to sleep asap and concentrate on getting
enough sleep for yourself. This will get your energy levels up again
to cope with the programme. Tried and tested "I did try it when my DD was 9 months old, and had been sleeping for what felt like 20 minutes a night since she was born. I have to say that I was SOOO tired that I could barely read the book let alone stick to the plans. I did try some of her ideas though, mainly the keeping her little teddy between us whilst I was reading her bedtime story and rocking her. Then when I put her down she still had it to comfort her - I still do that now she is going down awake. I did try the gradual withdrawal of feeding during the night (feeding for one minute or so less each time) but to be honest I kept falling asleep whilst feeding her so didn't manage to count very well! It probably is a much gentler way of getting your little one to sleep
through than the way I did it in the end (controlled crying) but we
all needed our sleep so desperately that that was what I ended up doing."
A health visitor's view of SLEEP programmes "If parents are having difficulty getting their baby or toddler to sleep through the night it would be better to approach the health visitor for help so she can discuss the options and help you develop a strategy and offer you support while you put that into operation. It is never easy to sort a sleep problem out. Parents often blame themselves for getting into bad habits which the child has to unlearn and then learn to go to sleep by himself. Anyone who has been a mother knows how much easier it is to feed or cuddle her baby to sleep when she feels tired and just wants some time on her own or with her partner. I would usually use controlled crying but at the right time and only if the parents feel they are ready to do that. The most important thing parents can do is respond to their babies cues (their language) but may need help to do so. A very helpful book is The Social Baby by Lynne Murray and Liz Andrews." by Sam Pope Bookshelf
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