 Potty
problems
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continued from page 1
Should my son stand to wee?
This wasn't one of the issues that appeared on our Potty Training forum
but it's one that many mothers of boys do wonder about. If your son is
going to have to learn to pee standing up eventually, why not start now?
All the potty experts agree that this is not something to push at such
a young age. After all, boys will see their dads and older brothers standing
to urinate and they will probably want to follow suit when they get older.
However, now's the time to concentrate on getting them used to the idea
behind bladder and bowel control as a whole rather than on an independent
skill. Dr Brazelton points out that if you try to get him to stand when
peeing, getting him to sit at all on his potty will be difficult. "Once
he's learned to sit, then teach him how to aim by making a noise in the
toilet water or on the side of his plastic potty when he stands. He's
bound to be thrilled."
Accidents will happen
Q: "My son has been potty-trained for about 3 months; however, he has
just got over a bad case of chicken pox and now has a cold! He has gone
back to nursery this week and keeps having accidents. He just doesn't
like going on the potty at nursery. They aren't private and he is quite
shy. I am so upset as we have no problems at home but every day at nursery
he is having accidents. Do you think it will sort itself out when he is
100% better? I am very reluctant to put him back in nappies."
A: Fear not. Paediatrician Dr Spock warns parents to expect setbacks.
"Mastery of bowel and bladder functions occurs in little steps for most
children. You can expect plateaus and setbacks … emotional upsets, illness,
travelling, a new baby - these can cause setbacks even in a child who
appears to be fully trained." Spock urges parents not to scold or punish
their children when this occurs as it is during these times that your
child needs your support and to know that he will regain control and respect
again soon.
Potty training when travelling
Potty training is coming on a treat at home but on a long weekend to
Granny Smith's your child fiercely demands her nappies back again. Brazelton
says that as she's trying to grasp the fundamentals about potty training,
she's likely to think only her potty will do when the situation arises.
It's logical really - at this point, they are having to consider how and
where mummy and daddy go to the loo when not at home. It's likely she
will fail and then feel disappointed when that happens.
Routine and potty training often go hand-in-hand, with the toddler wanting
the same potty, the same room, and the same teddy to hold while 'performing'.
It might take a while for her to get the hang of trying to go to the loo
in different surroundings, even if the potty is the same. Brazelton recommends
plenty of warning of your plans and encouragement when accidents happen.
If they can't bear the thought of flushing their wee or poo away in a
strange toilet, tell them you realise how precious their 'offering' is
to them and give them the opportunity to flush it away. If that's too
much, Spock recommends discreetly putting it in the pan when they have
walked away and forgotten about it!
How do I deal with a splashing phobia?
Q: "My first son is pretty much potty-trained although we weren't getting
very far with poos because he always does it first thing in the morning
in his nappy before we got a chance to take it off. Anyway, in the last
week, we seem to have broken that habit and he has been going to the toilet
for it during the day. However, a couple of times he has complained about
being wet (when it splashes into the pan!). Yesterday, when it happened,
he was screaming and trying to get off. Surprise surprise, today he has
been weeing on the toilet but has been running around clenching his buttocks
occasionally, running to the toilet and then running back saying he doesn't
need to poo since about 6.30pm and has gone to bed in a nappy as usual
so no doubt it will be there in the morning! Anyone else had to deal with
a splashing phobia? What do I do?"
A: Most of the potty training manuals omitted this problem but, when
you think about it, it's a fair fear! No one likes to be 'splashed'. We
thought the following recommendation from babyworld member Helen was fantastic.
"I don't know if it would help but there is a good way to stop the water
splashing as much if not completely. When your son gets up, if you get
to the toilet before him lay a couple of sheets of paper on the top of
the water in the toilet. It should stop it splashing up as much."
Sibling rivalry
Again, this was not a problem cited by mothers on our forum but it might
be something some of you encounter on your potty training adventures.
Your son or daughter might be nearly fully potty trained but, on or before
the arrival of a newborn into the house, they revert to wetting their
pants or hiding behind a curtain to have a poo. Brazelton reassures parents
that this is normal. "Just as they may want to nurse, or to drink out
of a bottle 'like baby', they are likely to want to wet and soil and wear
diapers again too. If your child does this, offer him diapers or training
pants again."
Brazelton also stresses the importance of changing your elder child
with the same love and enthusiasm you once had when doing this activity
- and remember that the reason why he's doing this is to be the doted-on
baby he once was. "Reassure him that you value him for the older child
he has become, but that you can accept his need to be your baby again
sometimes too. Otherwise, he too may see his wetting and soiling as a
failure." With time, he should revert back to being trained again.
Page 2 of 2 <<
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Where to next?
Books you may like to read
- Dr B Spock's Baby and Child Care, £11.19 Amazon
- Dr Christopher Greene's New Toddler Taming, £9.09 Amazon
- Dr T. Berry Brazelton's Toilet Training the Brazelton Way, £6.99
Amazon
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