Holding and soothing your baby

Newborn babies are a mix of robust and fragile - while you need to be gentle with them, you can be reassured that healthy babies will cry loudly if you hold them in a way that makes them uncomfortable or insecure.

Because a very new baby has very little head control, his head will lag uncomfortably (but not harmfully) unless it’s supported. So, however you hold your baby, you’ll need to make sure his head has something to lean on.

•   Holding your baby
•   Using a baby carrier
•   Swaddling your baby
•   Comforting your baby

Here are two ways to pick your young baby up from prone (lying down):

•   Scoop him up with both arms, one hand/forearm supporting his bottom, and the other against his head or
•   Lift him up under the arms, gently resting your fingers on the back of his head, then turning him so he lies cradled in your arms, head in the crook of your elbow

Here are two ways to carry your baby comfortably:

•   Cradled in your arms, held close to your body
•   Against your shoulder, with his head turned to one side, his bottom on one hand/forearm, and his back steadied with the other hand

There are a number of different tried-and-tested products available to make carrying your baby for long periods easier, and which allow you to have at least one arm and hand free all the time.

Some babies are only ever really happy when held close to your body for much of the time, asleep or awake, and this is where a carrier can really help. This is fine - you are not spoiling your baby if you do this, you are meeting his needs for comfort, warmth, security and movement.

If your baby likes this, be reassured you won’t be doing it forever - gradually, you will find your baby is keener on watching the world, and he will be happy in a supportive baby chair when awake for longer periods. (See babyworld's product tests for a test comparison of different types of baby carriers.)

This means wrapping your baby closely. Some babies like it, some babies absolutely hate it. Some babies like it sometimes, and hate it others! It can be a useful technique to learn for a fussy, agitated baby who seems to keep himself awake by waving his arms and kicking his legs.

Do be careful your baby doesn’t get too hot if you do this - being able to move freely can be a way of cooling down (to check your baby is not too hot, place the back of your hand on his chest. It should feel no more than slightly warmer than your hand, and definitely not hot or clammy). Use a cotton pram sheet or very light shawl, not a blanket, to swaddle.

Here’s how to do it:

•   Fold the sheet into a triangle, widest edge at the top in front of you
•   Place your baby on the sheet, with his shoulders against the top edge of the sheet
•   Bring one point of the sheet across his body and tuck it in underneath, between his arm and his side
•   Bring the bottom point up
•   Bring the other point across firmly and underneath, and round again if it’s long enough

Babies who cry a lot or who are colicky may simply need the comfort of sucking at the breast, as well as the food and drink it provides. If this does not work - and don’t make the mistake of thinking ‘he can’t possibly be hungry again’, as babies’ needs and appetites are naturally unpredictable - try these, or any combination of them:

•   Rocking
•   Holding close while singing gently
•   Back-patting across your knee or against your shoulder

There is no harm in a child having a dummy provided it is used with care - toddlers who constantly suck on their dummies may be less likely to talk and therefore slower in developing their speech. The sensible approach is to limit the use of a dummy to times when your child is tired or fretful. If you don’t introduce a dummy, your child may well take to sucking his thumb as a comfort.