Fussy eaters

Is your toddler so fussy that mealtimes are being made a misery? Chances are it's just a phase - which has nothing to do with your cooking and everything to do with your child's need for independence! We asked child psychologist Dr Hannah Mortimer for her help with your most common mealtime problems while food expert Joanna Blythman shares her strategy on helping little ones love good food

• Common mealtime problems
• Six steps to fuss-free feeding

Q: My two year old hardly eats a thing! She turns her nose up at virtually every thing I prepare and mealtimes usually end with us both in tears!

Dr Hannah Mortimer: 'From around 18 months onwards toddlers have a tremendous surge of independence and want their own way whenever possible. Food inevitably becomes a battleground because it's one area where little children know they can win! You should never force-feed your child. Instead, try to stay as relaxed and neutral as possible - as long as your toddler is growing and gaining weight then her fussiness won't be life-threatening. Meanwhile do what you can to take the pressure off mealtimes and add a bit of fun. Ask your daughter what she'd like for lunch, take her shopping with you and let her help prepare the food. You don't need to work too hard - little piles of bits and pieces presented attractively on a plate often appeal greatly to young children.'

Q: My 14 month old has such a limited diet. Practically the only foods she'll touch are bread, milk and mashed potato! She refuses meat and only occasionally eats a bit of apple or banana. Should I be worried?

Dr Hannah Mortimer: 'Before feeling guilty about what your daughter doesn't eat, take a look at what she does - not meal by meal or even day by day but over a week. Once you include snacks and drinks, you might be pleasantly surprised at how balanced her diet really is. Even if she refuses specific foods it doesn't matter, if she's eating the same healthy alternatives day in day out. Do carry on trying to introduce new tastes but instead of saying 'you must try this', encourage her with 'you can taste this if you want to'. Giving a toddler the choice can works wonders!'

Q: I can't get my 20 month old to stay at the table for more than a few minutes. After a couple of mouthfuls he wants to get down from his chair and go off to play.

Dr Hannah Mortimer: 'Unless they are really hungry, children are often easily distracted at mealtimes. Keep toys and television in another room and sit down with him so you can eat together - maybe not at every meal but at least once a day. At this age, children learn a lot through imitation. Check his appetite, too. Is he grazing too much and just not hungry enough when he comes to the table? Ideally he should have three small meals a day plus two snacks. Make sure the portions on his plate are small so he isn't overwhelmed by too much food. Keeping mealtimes short will also avoid struggles.'

Q: My one year old is such a messy eater - she won't use cutlery and most of her food ends up on the floor.

Dr Hannah Mortimer: 'Your daughter is still too young to use cutlery properly but it's important not to discourage her. Self-feeding is an important step towards independence and every time you praise her efforts you are boosting her confidence. Stay relaxed and be prepared for mess - spread a plastic sheet on the floor and give her a spoon for each hand. Thicker textures, like creamy yoghurt and cauliflower cheese stick to the spoon better than others, while finger foods - such as little sandwiches and pieces of fruit - cut down on the mess too. Remove the dish at the end of the meal if she starts to play with her food - and don't forget, this phase will pass!'

Q: My 18 month old has a great appetite but only for junk food like burgers, chicken nuggets, biscuits and crisp. How can I get him to eat more healthily?

Dr Hannah Mortimer: 'Toddlers often develop a taste for processed food but as they are high in salt, sugar and artificial flavourings they should be avoided. One approach is to not to have these types of food in the house. If it's not there, you can't offer it! At this age, your son can enjoy most of the meals the rest of the family is eating as long as there's no added salt or sugar. Offer really appetising alternatives and make sure you are a good role model - if he sees you having an apple as a snack, for example, he's more likely to try one himself. '

According to food expert Joanna Blythman, - author of the The Food Our Children Eat (Fourth Estate, £8.99) - it's never too late to turn a fussy eater into a healthy eater. Here are her top suggestions:

1 Eat together
A family meal once or twice a week can really help - a child who won't eat peas may change her mind when she sees how much everyone else enjoys them, and she may be encouraged to try new foods if she can have a spoonful from daddy's plate!

2 Be imaginative
Children often dismiss food with words like 'I hate cheese'. Try to pinpoint exactly what it is your child doesn't like - and find a way of serving it that makes the food more acceptable. When she says 'I don't like tomatoes' try 'Yes but your like baby cherry ones don't you. Or if she says 'I hate soups with bits', liquidise the soup and give it a name like 'dinosaur juice'.

3 Dish up lots of praise
Avoid saying 'she's so picky, she eats nothing', in front of your child. Instead focus on the positive, praising her whenever she eats something healthy: 'You've eaten your apple, well done!'

4 Get excited about good food
Try to get across the message that good food tastes and smells great in a way that junk food never can. Say things like 'I love these oatcakes, they're so crunchy' or 'This mango is the best thing I've ever eaten.'

5 Try, try and try again
Children's likes and dislikes change all the time and what's on the hate list today could be a favourite food next week - so be persistent. Keep offering a wide variety of fresh, nutritious foods and even a fussy eater can eventually learn to like them.

6 Give in gracefully
Sometimes you just have to accept that your child is not going to eat what you want her too. Just say something like, 'You didn't like it today but you might like it next week, mightn't you?'

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• We've got information on everything from feeding your baby to potty training - check it out!