Keeping sane

Remember that your baby is an individual, and crying is his way of expressing himself. As long as you continue to respond to his needs and give him your love there may not be much more you can do, but remind yourself that things will get better in time. No matter how tired and low you are feeling, never blame yourself for the crying.

Trust your own judgement - you know your baby better than anyone else. Don’t let the well-meaning advice of others put you off - people will tell you that you need to do this, or that they always did that, but if you follow your instincts you and your baby will find a way of coping together.

These are some of the things you can do to help you cope with a crying baby:

• Don’t panic. Crying is normal, healthy and natural

• Relax as much as you can; play your favourite music or use the relaxation breathing you learned at antenatal classes

• If the crying is really jangling your nerves, put your baby in a safe place (in his cot or pram, for example) and leave the room until you feel calmer

• Ask a friend or relative to take over while you take a break. Just having a hour to yourself while someone else wheels the baby around the park can make you feel in charge of your life again

• Take care of yourself. Try and do something you enjoy for part of each day, so you still have the energy to give your crying baby as much love and attention as you can

• Get help - a crying baby can drive you to distraction, so keep a list of people and helplines you can turn to at the low times

• Telephone Cry-sis for someone to talk to who understands what you are going through

Never, ever shake or hit your baby. If you get to the point where you feel you might hurt him, you need help. Put him down in his cot, go into another room, calm down and call a friend or Cry-sis who offer support for families with excessively crying, sleepless and demanding babies.