 Breastfeeding
- time to wean?
Once you’ve established breastfeeding it can be hard to work out how
to stop! Whether you are going back to work or you and your baby are ready
to stop breastfeeding Barbara Higham, La Leche League counsellor, explains
how to do it.
Well done for providing your baby with the best start in life through
breastfeeding! Until around the middle of the first year your baby only
needs your milk and no other food or drink to grow and stay healthy.
There are no prizes to be won for breastfeeding the longest – all mothers
and babies are different. The decision to wean from the breast is ideally
yours based upon your own and your child’s needs rather than the expectations
of others. It may help you to separate your own feelings from the attitudes
of others by talking things through with a breastfeeding counsellor or
lactation consultant or attending a breastfeeding mothers’ support group
meeting where you will meet mothers who are breastfeeding and weaning
their babies.
Getting started
If you plan to wean your baby, eliminate one feed daily no more often
than every two or three days. Substitute a feed where your baby is relaxed
and you can focus on helping him accept an alternative meal. Ideally this
should not be the first or last feed of the day or when you yourself are
distracted by other things.
If your breasts feel full, express a little milk until you feel comfortable.
Your body will get the signal to make less milk over time. Weaning abruptly
can put you at risk of breast infection as well as causing your child
distress.
Your breasts will continue to make a small amount of milk for some time
after weaning. (Some women carry on lactating a little for months or even
years, so this is nothing to be alarmed about.)
A lot of extra love and attention in other forms will be needed during
weaning. Try getting out more, or doing anything your child will be distracted
and stimulated by. Read stories, rub his back, sing and dance. Many mothers
feel the urge to distance themselves from their child for fear he will
insist on breastfeeding. However, your child needs reassurance that his
mum still loves him. The use of a sling or baby carrier may help you keep
your baby close while you are busy doing other things.
Weaning is a big change for both you and your baby. There is no advantage
to rushing as it takes time to adjust. Weaning doesn’t have to be ‘all
or nothing’. You can continue with some breastfeeding sessions while giving
up others. Be attentive to your child's reactions. For example, when he
is ill he may want to breastfeed more often. When he feels better you
can always resume the weaning.
Stopping night time feeds
The night time feeding is often the last to go. Make a bedtime routine
not centred around breastfeeding. A good book will eventually become more
important than a long session at the breast. Talk to your child about
what's going on, he may understand more than you think.
When things don't go to plan
If your child becomes upset or insists on breastfeeding when you try
to distract or comfort him, this may be a sign that weaning is going too
quickly for him or that different strategies would be more effective.
Other signs that weaning may be proceeding too quickly include an increase
in clinginess, more frequent night-waking, biting, a new attachment to
a stuffed toy or comfort object or a new or increased fear of separation.
Physical symptoms that weaning may be proceeding too quickly are stomach
upsets and constipation. If a physical problem occurs then re-commence
your normal breastfeeding routine to see if it disappears.
Partial weaning is kinder to both of you if you are entering a battle
of wills.
If you are feeling overwhelmed and exhausted by the effort you may be
expending on weaning, this can make it harder for your child to cope.
Every mother needs to evaluate whether what she hopes to gain by weaning
is worth the effort she is putting into it.
There is no need to wean just because you perceive this to be the thing
to do at a given time. Anthropological studies show that a natural weaning
age is most commonly anywhere between the ages of two and seven years.
Even when a baby is eating solids, breast milk is the primary source
of nutrition during the first year. It becomes a supplement to solids
during the second year. It takes between two and six years for a child's
immune system to fully mature. Human milk continues to complement and
boost the immune system for as long as it is offered.
Breastfeeding and the 21st century
The dependency of a breastfed baby frightens a culture that places a
high value on self-sufficiency. A baby who will not be satisfied with
anyone other than his mother is often looked upon as a liability, when
in reality he just knows what he needs. What is there to be gained by
abruptly putting an end to the breastfeeding relationship? Will continuing
to breastfeed until the baby wants to give up this particular kind of
attention make him more dependent on his mother? This is the fear of many.
But what makes us think that the child won’t grow out of this particular
need unless we force him to? Children do outgrow breastfeeding, at differing
ages as with all other developmental milestones.
Where to next?
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