 Breastfeeding
second time around
Just because breastfeeding didn't work first time round it doesn't
mean that it will always be problem.
First-time fears
First-time mums have a raw deal. No one can predict how a woman's body
will behave during pregnancy and, despite every well-written birth plan,
you can't guarantee that you will get the birth you want. If pregnancy,
labour and birth were a hard time for you, then the shock of trying to
feed a newborn may be the thing to just blow you off your feet.
Clare Byam-Cook, celebrity breastfeeding adviser and author, isn't surprised
so many women have trouble breastfeeding. "It's all very well having counsellors
on the end of a phone to offer comfort when a mum is having trouble but
what she really needs is for someone to show her how to do it. If you
were having trouble with your boiler, you wouldn't want your plumber to
listen to you sympathetically down the phone every day. You'd want him
to come and fix it. It's the same with breastfeeding."
Clare attributes the lack of consistent support and incorrect information
given to mothers as the main reasons behind the low percentage of breastfeeding
mothers in the UK. "The vast majority of mothers attempting to breastfeed
their first, second and subsequent babies are doing it wrong. They are
incorrectly shown how to latch a baby on by a series of midwives, who
all have different methods. When the difficulties carry on arising, the
mother's confidence is further undermined by the reasons she is given
for this, for example, her breasts are too big, she's doing it wrong,
etc. But if she were shown how to do it properly from the start, none
of this would be an issue."
Second time successful!
Are things different the second time round? Surely, with the benefit
of hindsight and experience, a woman's more confident about the troubles
she can expect to have … should she decide to breastfeed? Clare is not
certain. "If things went wrong the first time round and started doing
so again, I think they might be more likely to give up sooner, knowing
the outcome from the previous attempt. They just wouldn't want to put
themselves through that again. However, if a mother was shown why her
attempts at breastfeeding were unsuccessful, she might be more assertive
in asking for help and showing others what she thinks the problem might
be."
Confidence is key when it comes to breastfeeding - in both yourself and
your baby. This might be easier to muster when you have had other children,
more adept as you are to reading and interpreting their signals. Your
previous experiences should also, hopefully, help give you the confidence
to continue asking for support until the problem you have is dealt with
efficiently and correctly. Confidence also allows you to stand up for
your rights, to go with your instincts and to trust your own intuition.
As the following stories prove, it is possible to breastfeed successfully
after bottlefeeding with an ounce of self-confidence!
Ninth time lucky!
"My first baby was born when I was 15 years old and I wasn't even given
the choice of breastfeeding; he was taken to the nursery less than an
hour after he was born and was given a bottle. I half-heartedly tried
to feed all of my other babies but, because of lack of support at home
from my partner at the time, I always gave up. When I remarried, and had
my first child with my new husband, we decided I would give breastfeeding
a go. Sadly, this failed too as I had problems latching the baby on and
was not given any support by my midwives.
I decided that, with baby number eight, I would get all the support
whilst pregnant. I spoke to people online and on the phone who were all
willing to help at a moment's notice if there was a problem. Troy was
pretty easy to latch on and, with support from my husband and midwife,
I didn't really have any problems at all. I made it as far as six weeks
but had to give up as I had to back to work at six weeks. As I was working
two nights in a row then having to sleep all day, I felt unable to keep
this up.
With my ninth, I had an independent midwife who was very pro-breastfeeding.
We did all the skin-to-skin stuff after a beautiful home water birth and
Trinity seemed to have read all the books and knew exactly what to do!
We are already almost seven weeks along and still feeding OK, despite
a nasty bout of thrush and a blocked duct.
As I have failed at breastfeeding before, I do sometimes think it will
fail again. Sometimes it's better not knowing the bad bits! In other ways,
my experiences with my other children have helped as I have gained the
confidence in my baby to know that she can tell me what she wants. As
a first timer, you are always trying to guess but with subsequent babies
you already know a lot of the signals to look for.
I think that if the support was there from health care professionals
a lot more people would feed for longer. Also, internet access allowed
me to get in touch with others who knew exactly what I was going through.
It shows that I am not alone. When things start to go wrong it's not always
easy to get hold of your midwife or health visitor but in the middle of
the night I can always turn to the boards!" Liz
You
have to do what's right for you
"When I had my daughter in 2000, she was a twin, and my son had
spina bifida and did not survive. My midwife and health professionals
were so focused in my pregnancy on the problems that they seemed to forget
that I was still going to have a baby at the end. I was not offered any
antenatal classes and went into it all a bit unprepared. I had a C section
at 1pm in the afternoon and asked when I would feed my baby and the midwife
on the ward was uninterested and said "later". By 2am the next morning,
I was desperate to start feeding and asked the nightshift midwife to help
me. She was annoyed at having been disturbed and told me to feed her on
my side which, when you have a morphine drip, a catheter and a big wound,
is easier said than done. For the five days in hospital I battled on and
was offered no advice.
On getting home, the pain was close to unbearable at times, and I had
no idea this was down to bad positioning. My midwife said she'd help but
all she did was grab my boob and shove it into the baby's mouth until
she sucked. My daughter lost 20% of her weight in 5 days as she was not
getting enough food, and I was devastated. After a particularly painful
night, I could not take any more and sent hubby off to the 24hr Asda to
get bottles and formula. From then on my daughter was much more settled.
My GP did my home visit the next day and said I should keep trying or
my supply would dry up, but offered no practical advice!
When I was pregnant in 2004, I was determined to breastfeed and signed
up for a workshop, bought lots of comfy bras but, most importantly, was
more relaxed and determined to get the help I deserved. I was more sure
of myself as a mother. I had another C section, but the key difference
was the midwife in recovery was lovely and patient and put Evie to the
breast when she was less than an hour old. She fed frequently from then,
and that night slept for four-hour blocks.
I did get mastitis when she was four weeks old and fed through it whilst
also expressing. I know a lot of advice says not to express or use bottles
until after six weeks but I think you have to do what is right for you
and go with your instinct. I co-slept which made feeding easier and Evie
has slept 8 hours minimum through the night since about three or four
weeks. We have now transferred her to her cot and it has made no difference.
She was slow to put on weight and my health visitor told me I should "top
her up" with formula but I refused and she is now on the 25th centile
and a healthy girl.
I love breastfeeding. It's much less restrictive than using formula.
I can go where I want when I want and not worry about having enough bottles.
I have fed in restaurants, children's parties ... anywhere really, and
I am proud to breastfeed and refuse to hide away. I am now training to
become a peer-to-peer breastfeeding counsellor and hope I can help people
have the experience I wish I had had the first time." Nic
I am proud to say I breastfeed my son!
"I did find breastfeeding difficult with my first two children.
I had them aged 20 and 21 and, at the time, I thought it was going to
be really easy. It seemed such a natural thing to do - how could anything
go wrong?
I started Ryan on a bottle at night because I was told it would help
him sleep better. He was constantly feeding and I thought his lack of
sleep was due to him being hungry. I thought it would be a miracle cure
and he would soon start sleeping through … that of course didn't happen.
After a short while I introduced more and more bottles and in the end
I gave up. With Jodie, I gave it a try but it was very difficult having
a toddler as well so it was only a half-hearted attempt.
When we decided to have a third child I thought it would happen straight
away, as it did with the other two. In the end it took over a year to
conceive Lewis and I suffered a miscarriage in-between. I think that because
it was much harder to have him I was determined to do everything in my
power to give him the best possible start to life. I was determined to
breastfeed this time no matter what it took. I was prepared for it to
be a struggle again but I wasn't going to let anyone or anything put me
off. I told myself that no matter how hard it got I mustn't give up and
thankfully Lewis took to it really well, much better than the other two
ever did.
There have been a couple of times when things didn't run so smoothly:
with growth spurts when he wanted to feed all the time. I thought at the
time that I wasn't making enough milk to satisfy him anymore but I stuck
with it, even when the health visitor suggested giving him 'just one night-time
bottle', to help him sleep better. I had made that mistake before and
there was no way I was going to do it again. I intend to breastfeed until
he is at least a year old and able to have cow's milk. I think that being
older this time round I have more confidence. I know it is the best thing
for him and I feed him whenever and wherever he wants. People's attitudes
would never put me off and I'm proud to be able to say I breastfeed
my son!" Donna
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