It's not all in the preparation
Suzanne Coulson learnt to breastfeed the hard way with conflicting
and inconsistent advice. A breastfeeding counsellor made the difference
and she went on to feed her daughter until she was one year old.
I was determined to breastfeed out first daughter and, having dutifully
read up about the subject, assumed that all would run smoothly.
Needless to say, I was wrong. I spent the first few days in hospital
following a caesarean, where I was given lots of advice, often conflicting
with what I'd read or with what one of the other midwives had said.
Our poor baby was just managing to get a little bit of colostrum
out of me when my milk came in and I turned into Pamela Anderson.
After that, everything was rock hard and she didn't stand a chance.
I know now that I should simply have hand expressed to soften my
breasts a little but at the time I was advised to express by machine
and cup feed her.
Feeding became a somewhat hilarious round of me hooked up to something
that looked like a cross between a dairy machine and a form of medieval
torture, and my husband encouraging this tiny new baby to sip milk
from a cup.
By the end of the first week we were all back home and feeding
still wasn't established. I was still determined, but also feeling
awful that she was missing out on vital nutrition. Luckily, and
amidst the chaos of visiting relatives and my one day of baby blues,
my amazing community midwife told me to undress myself and the baby
and just go to bed together. It didn't kick start the feeding but
we had some skin-to-skin contact which relaxed us both.
My midwife also referred me to a breastfeeding counsellor and
one week after the birth we turned up for our appointment. The counsellor
asked whether she could observe me feeding (this may sound awful
but by now I was so used to being on display that I really wasn't
bothered). She talked about positioning and helped me to manouvre
the baby and myself into a better position. It worked and for the
first time I felt our daughter really glug away.
I continued to feed her for the next year and felt the satisfaction
of seeing my baby get bigger and bigger.
I learnt a lot from this experience. I learnt that preparation
is important but not the be all and end all. I learnt that some
babies are sluggish feeders and need to be woken, especially if
they have jaundice as our daughter did. I learnt that new mothers
need to be supported and given calm, consistent and practical advice
which acknowledges the difficulties of establishing breastfeeding
and supports them in their decisions. What they don't need is people
(including some midwives) suggesting that they switch to bottle
feeding, or implying that they are not doing a very good job and
that the baby is suffering (ok, I may have been particularly sensitive
at the time but one midwife who I will never forget told me that
I wasn't giving the baby enough milk and by the time she came back
she wanted to see an improvement).
I learnt too that the support of your partner is vital. My husband
never once questioned what I was doing. He made it clear that he
supported my decision to breastfeed but also that he would support
me if I felt that it was unmanageable. He played a vital part in
feeding the baby from a cup and came with me to see the breastfeeding
counsellor, both as moral support and so that he could become more
informed.
I will always remember with gratitude the help from my community
midwife and the breastfeeding counsellor, as well as a breastfeeding
support line which I called once. Good quality help is out there.
Getting the right sort of help early on can make the difference
between carrying on and giving up.
And now, nearly 3 years on, we're about to do it all over again.
I feel fully prepared, I've done it once already. Nothing can go
wrong this time... can it?
Love from Mummy
In a very personal account of her breastfeeding journey, Claire
Griggs, writes a letter to her two little children.
My fairytale birth plan went out of the window almost immediately!
With the Tens machine shocks down my back, pethidine drugs to knock
me out, a much needed epidural, and eventually being rushed down
for an emergancy c-section, you finally were born sort of naturally,
with forceps. I remember you came flying over the green screen to
the news that you were a beautiful little girl.
Then the fairytale finally came true. Now it would all be wonderful,
I would hold you to my breast and you would feed like a dream................
Not in your dreams! You had so much pethidine still in your system
from the labour, you just didn't want to know. Twelve hours later,
after much persistance, you still hadn't fed. I was told by the
midwife that if you didn't feed soon, you would have to have a bottle,
as your blood sugar levels were low. I wanted to feed you soo much.
I didn't want to give you a bottle. I prayed that you would take
my milk.... and then......... You fed for 20 minutes on each side.
It was painful at times, and I even developed mastitas in my left
breast, but somehow it didn't matter, because what mattered was
giving you the best. You learnt how to do it before I did!! You
taught me. And that wonderful moment that made everything I had
been through worthwhile was 4 o'clock in the morning, when you woke
up in the nursery and the midwife placed you next to me in bed and
you fed, as I dozed.
I consider it to be a great achievement to have fed you for 10
months and really missed it when I dropped the final feed. Perseverance
is the key, perseverance and determination.
Then your brother Daniel came along, you could have taught him
a thing or two about how to feed, fortunately this time I knew what
to do, as I had to teach him how to latch on and suck without hurting
me. But as you know, it doesn't last too long, and suddenly you
realise you are feeding without flinching!! I did the usual putting
cabbage leaves in my bra, cooling the soothing cooling pads in the
fridge! And eventually it all paid off. I fed Daniel ( now aged
9 months) myself for 8 months, which again is an achievement.
The bond we got when I fed you and your baby brother was amazingly
strong. I just wanted to protect you both, let nothing harm you
and give you the very best. You both put on weight so quickly people
used to joke I was producing gold top! And I lost my pregnancy weight
quickly too, going back to a size 12 after only a few weeks.
Some criticise and say the Dad doesn't get much of a look in, but
the reality is there are other elements to looking after a new born
baby, and as it is only a few months out of their whole lives, that
surely is worth it. With Daniel I quickly expressed 1 feed anyway,
which you and your daddy enjoyed giving to him, so I could get a
well earned rest, or even go out for the evening!
I love you both so much. My bright and gorgeous 4 year old, Lia
Beth Griggs, and my smiley cuddly little Mummy's boy Daniel James.
Nothing was going to stop me from putting you first, and giving
you the very best.
Love your mum X
Give it two weeks!
"The first two weeks of trying to breastfeed were hellish", recounts
Sharon Vanstone, but she took her twin sister's advice and the constant
pain and struggle finally improved.
"Give it two weeks!" was the advice given to me by my twin sister
who had breast-fed both her children. I was about to have my first
baby in July 2003 and always intended to breast feed. She was right
of course, the first two weeks were hellish. Every time my daughter
latched on to feed, my toes would curl in agony.
I tried a number of different creams and lotions, all of which
I think only exacerbated the problem rather than helped. For one,
they made the nipple area greasy, which made it all the more difficult
for my daughter to latch on and stay put! Her lips would slide inwards
and therefore make the nipple very sore. I think it would have hurt
less if I had just kept they nipple area dry and aired!
At times I felt like giving up, went through all the usual irrational
emotions that I was not satisfying her or producing enough milk
- when of course I was. I was also expressing, which was a trial
in itself!! After two weeks of constant feeding and pain, the whole
thing improved. A regular pattern emerged and the pain, although
not completely disappeared, had improved. I knew that I would go
on to feed for the long term and true enough, breast fed my daughter
for 17 months.
I was proud of myself for doing it as I do feel it is a sacrifice,
but one that is well worth it! My daughter was also supplemented
at times with formula milk and is a healthy 'almost' two year old
now. I agonised at the end about giving up, and couldn't face the
prospect that this feed may be my last one. The decision was made
for me by a series of days where we had work going on in the house
and a lot of disruption to our routine.
I can now remember fondly that the last time my daughter breast
fed, she was wearing pink Barbie wraparound shades and I remember
thinking how bizarre and funny it looked! I am now expecting my
second child in August and will know what to expect. I know it will
be hard, but I know I will give it the first two weeks!!
Throw out the rules with the bathwater!
Bronwen Gray was sure that like French women supposedly do she
would stop at the six-week mark to ensure her breasts returned to
their former glory…she was to be amazed at what she achieved…
The old me of a year ago would not believe that my son is still
breastfeeding at 5 months old - admittedly only the first feed of
the day - but as with everything else baby related "whatever works
for you and baby" seems to be the only rule to apply. I had set
myself a low expectation in case, like my mother, I turned out to
be 'all show'. And, even if I were able to breastfeed, was sure
that like French women supposedly do I would stop at the 6 week
mark to ensure my breasts returned to their former glory. Goes to
show you never can tell…
Exhausted and exhilarated after the birth, as directed by the midwife,
I put my baby son to my breast and amazingly he started to feed.
It seemed the most natural thing in the world and we had no problems!
This false promise continued during that first day when he seemed
to know what to do so I just let him feed. At 3am when my nipples
felt like cut glass was being crushed against them and my baby wailed
I realised that more then just luck was required and so the next
morning gladly let the overbearing midwife manhandle my left boob
as she showed me just where I had been going wrong!
As my nipples healed, helped by ointment and chilled pads my husband
found for me in the chemist, baby and I got the hang of things and
I started to produce what seemed like enough milk for a family of
four. I duly expressed and froze or used the milk for a late night
bottle feed which my husband took on allowing him precious time
with baby and me a few hours wonderful sleep.
A few weeks later and the milk fountain had subsided as the sleepless
nights began to take their toll so I nervously began to introduce
some formula feeds. My baby boy took these just as happily as breast
or breast milk in a bottle and with this compromise we have got
to where we are now. As I said before "whatever works" has got us
here and with the first tastes of solids already introduced my baby
is still getting breast milk once a day - not by banning bottles
or demand feeding but by finding the middle road between baby's
and mummy's needs.
Anything's possible!
I feel that this is a very small example of 'anything's possible'
if you want it enough, says Lee Leach who is still breastfeeding twins!
I am a 34 year old mother of three children, aged 18 months, and
twins, 10 weeks. I had my first child in September 2003. I wanted
to be as informed as possible for the birth process and attended
NCT classes in Liverpool from 28 weeks of pregnancy. I was inspired
to 'follow my heart' and planned a home birth. At 41 weeks gestation,
Eve Beatrice was born at home, weighing 8lb 13oz. The pregnancy
and birth had been 'model'. I successfully breastfed Eve until in
June 2004, when she was nine months old we discovered that we were
pregnant again- with twins!
Things didn't go quite as well and at 29 weeks I was told that
it was very likely that I had pre-eclampsia. All hopes of a home
birth vanished. We 'held on' for as long as was deemed medically
safe. Our twin boys- Edward and Aaron were delivered by Caesarean
section on the 17th January 2005- 33 weeks gestation and weighing
in at 5lb 11oz and 4lb 2oz respectively.
The boys were in Special care and I threw all my energy into the
goal of breastfeeding. It seemed so far away, I hadn't seen them
for over 24 hours after they'd been born and they were in incubators,
on IV fluids and under phototherapy lights. My husband- Ian- had
hired a breast pump from the NCT a couple of days prior to their
birth and I decided that my job, something that I could do, was
to get breast milk to the boys.
The problem was I had no milk. I had requested that the boys be
given only breast milk. Thank goodness for donor breast milk! They
were fed through naso-gastric tubes. Meanwhile I pumped for 20 minutes
every three hours. The boys were tolerating greater quantities with
alarming speed. I thought I would never produce any milk, let alone
match their demand but after three days things started happening.
At first it was 10 ml or 20 ml. Within a week I was producing 200mls
every time- I had enough milk for both boys and some to spare! The
boys were doing so well that the staff encouraged demand feeding
during the day. The naso-gastric tubes were removed, they were cup
fed at night with my milk and 18 days after they had been born,
our fully breastfed boys came home.
They are continuing to thrive and last week had gained 11oz and
12 oz in one week. I make sure I 'fuel the engine', eating three
meals a day and snacking if I feel even slightly peckish. We also
co-sleep so that I don't have to even sit up during the night as
I was finding it too demanding on my energy levels for the next
day.
I feel that this is a very small example of 'anything's possible'
if you want it enough!
Where to next?
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