Milk and Mother-in Law
Claire Smith had to suffer the indignity of a midwife asking if
she "had always had breasts like this?"! With further unhelpul comments
from her mother-in-law to follow it's tribute to this mum that she
ever managed to breastfeed! However Claire has now breastfed two babies
and is expecting her third who she intends to breastfeed too.
Maisie was born on 27th August 1997. I had problems breast-feeding
from the start. One duty midwife said to me "have you always had
breasts like this?" Her insensitive comments crushed me. I'd always
had slightly inverted nipples, but to be honest id never even given
it a second thought. It certainly didn't cross my mind that I'd
have problems feeding my baby. I cried and cried and by the following
morning Maisie was screaming. One midwife suggested cup feeding
her a little formula, which I reluctantly agreed to, thinking this
was the slippery slope to bottle feeding. Maisie lapped like a little
kitten from the small plastic cup, and took just an ounce of milk.
It helped take the edge off her hunger, and I got her to latch on
easier.
When my milk came in I looked like Jordan on steroids, and the
engorgement of milk made it nearly impossible to latch Maisie on.
I was sore, and after hours of feeding, I was bleeding too. I was
in tears most of the time. What you will find out as a new mum is
that this is the time when all your well wishing friends, relatives,
neighbours and nosy parkers will "pop in" to visit you and your
baby, and they revel in dishing out 'advice'. "It's not worth this",
"you've tried your best, nobody will think badly of you if you give
up now." And one from my Mother in Law "I told you so, didn't I?
She looks hungry to me" So on top of everything, I was also being
cruel by starving my child!
By the end of the first week, I was so raw; my health visitor gave
me some latex nipple shields to try. They were amazing, the relief
it gave me was instant, and Maisie latched on immediately. The downside
to this was that the baby learnt to suckle in a different way, similar
to bottle feeding, and the shields also caused thrush to develop…
six months later I was still feeding, with the shields, until a
nasty bout of mastitis helped me decide id done enough.
When my second daughter Ffion was born in 2000, I was more prepared
mentally for the breast-feeding. I was calmer, and this must have
rubbed off onto the baby, as after the initial problems before my
milk came in, I managed to latch her on myself quite easily! I did
suffer soreness, but was determined not to have the hassle of shields
again, and it soon went. I used cabbage leaves and chamomile cream,
and plain old fresh air. I even managed to feed through two bouts
of mastitis, which I was proud of, before I weaned her at eight
months.
I am now pregnant with baby number three, and intending to breast-feed
again. My advice to new mums would be, Relax, Stay determined and
have faith in your decision to breastfeed. You will get there!!
A story of war and work!
Determined to breastfeed, Deborah Speakman, didn't let an early
return to work or the impending war in Iraq deter her!
Would I give birth on a plane?
I was due to have my baby in November 2002 in Kuwait where myself
and my husband were working as teachers. Every night we watched
the news anxiously to see if there would be an announcement about
the impending war in Iraq. I began to feel certain that I would
be giving birth next to the drinks trolley in aisle of a 747 as
we would have to be evacuated from the country! Our Luck was in
when Zachariah arrived early and the imminent war seemed to be postponed
for a while so I was spared the indignity of a birth in the air.
Desperate for it all to be perfect….
Like all mums I had done my reading and listened to countless breastfeeding
stories so I was desperate for it all to be perfect. Zach was extra
small at just under 5 pounds so I knew feeding well was going to
important. With no aftercare or midwives around my husband and friends
were all important. Things were going really well and John my husband
proudly told everyone that t was ' the boobs' that were helping
Zach to grow so well. A little bit embarrassing yes! But the support
really buoyed me up, lets face it getting up during the night feeling
drunk with tiredness is not fun so having someone tell everyone
you are brilliant at it helps a lot. Having someone to call at very
ridiculous hours also helps, I remember after one such traumatic
incident when Zach decide to throw back an entire feed at an inconvenient
hour of 1.00 am having a calm friend ( great too if they are a nurse)
to tell you every thing will be ok and give some sensible calm advice
helps to. So everything is going swimmingly but two little things
are on the horizon and are determined to throw me off course form
my breastfeeding they are returning to work and the looming war.
A cellar of breast milk!
In Kuwait you are only allowed ten weeks maternity leave this was
beginning to feel shorter and shorter and I had begun using a pump
and filling my freezer to capacity with little bags full of milk.
I was determined even if my maternity time was short I didn't want
Zach to miss the benefits of breast milk. It became quite common
place for friend to pop round for coffee and without warning they
would be taken to my fridge and asked to admire my vast ' cellar
' of breast milk, thankfully they were supportive and admired (
or humoured) me .
So when the day arrived for the return to work I left Zach with
my nanny and I left my boobs so to speak behind also. To keep up
my handy work I had to express at work. There is no getting away
from the fact that this is not glamorous , especially when done
in the ladies loo. Also explaining to male colleagues ( ones without
children !) just left them looking at me in a midst of fascination,
awe and one good friend referring to me as Madonna ( express yourself).
A spare pack of breast pads and a clean t -shirt also help for those
ultra sexy leaks. Still I did feel a bit of a super mom and was
very proud of myself for managing to keep this up.Cue next obstacle…..
The war finally broke out
Yes, the war finally broke out and we were evacuated back to the
UK. In a strange way all my anxieties were unfounded as this is
when breastfeeding really came into its own. Having portable food
when you have a lot of travel to do really cuts out the preparation
and thinking time involved. As long as I kept well I knew Zach would
be well. Feeding Zach during takeoff and landing and at anytime
when he became tetchy helped both of us. There is no denying however
hard it can be you feel very close to your baby and a strong bond
is forged. To-ing and fro-ing over the next couple of months at
least Zach knew the stability of ' the boobs'. We returned back
to Kuwait when things died down and I finally finished breastfeeding
at six months.
He is now a very healthy 2 and half year old and we have been
home for a year but plan to return to Kuwait is September to resume
our international teaching careers and we plan to have more babies
out there. Breastfed of course! Just keep your eyes on the ten o'clock
news for any more evacuations…
Against the odds
After a caesarean section Sharon Campbell's baby spent two weeks
in Special Care, he was jaundiced, sleepy and completely uninterested
in breastfeeding! Despite the odds Sharon persevered and breastfed
her son until he was a year old. Sharon is now expecting twins and
is fully prepared for the ups and downs!
I had always wanted to breastfeed my children. To me it was what
my big boobs were meant for! When I fell pg with my son formula
feeding wasn't even an option in my eyes! I eagerly read up on breastfeeding
& booked myself onto my hospital's Bloomsbury Workshop for 3wks
before I was due. I sailed through my pregnancy till 34 wks.
I got up one morning for work just feeling not quite right & with
a pain below my ribs. I ended up in hospital that night, very dehydrated
& with 'elevated liver enzymes' There I stayed while the docs tried
to work out what was wrong. My blood pressure etc was all fine so
pre-eclampsia was ruled out. On my 4th night in hospital the pain
under my ribs came back really bad. I had had it a few times over
the last few days so thought 'I'll buzz for some painkillers & go
back to sleep' To cut a long story short, my BP was through the
roof, baby was in foetal distress with a heartbeat of 80 & within
the hour my son was delivered by emergency cs & whisked away to
SCBU. I hadn't even held him.
The rest of that night & the next morning was spent trying to get
my BP down & recover from the surgery. Ben was doing fine in SCBU,
he was on CPAP briefly & being fed by drip but was very healthy.
He was so tiny & skinny , only lbs. 12.
Eventually the midwife looking after me brought me in a breast
pump & showed me how to work it. I managed to get two drops of colostrum
& that was it. Over the next day or so I pumped away but got no
more than a few ozs in total which was quite depressing. Ben was
also given two bottles without consulting me which depressed me
even further.
On his third day one of the SCBU midwives decided, during evening
visiting, that it was time to try him on the breast which was a
complete failure. I was very tense, there was a roomful of visitors
(none mine) & Keith & I behind a screen with a very sleep baby.
He showed no interest in even waking up never mind feeding & the
midwife then checked his blood sugar which was very low so he had
to be tube fed instead. I went back to the ward & continued expressing,
telling myself he would feed the next day.
Over the next few days, which included Xmas & Boxing Day we managed
to get him latched on & feeding a little on a few occasions but
as he was small & also very jaundiced progress was very slow. I
remember one evening a young midwife spent quite a while helping
me latch him on only for Ben to fall asleep after about 6 sucks.
I just sat there with tears running down my face. Meanwhile I continued
expressing & soon had quite a stock of milk in the SCBU fridge.
He might not have been able to latch on & suck but he wasn't going
to go hungry either!
I naively thought we would both be home by New Year so stayed in
the hospital to be near him. In some ways it was easier as I couldn't
drive because of the CS & I could try feeding him every few hours.
We had so many ups & downs over the next week or so but it never
crossed my mind to give him a bottle. I was worried the nursing
staff may suggest it but none ever did. The staff on the whole were
very encouraging though some were more hands on than others. One
in particular, Helen was excellent & I was waiting desperately for
her return on the days she wasn't working!
Gradually Ben became more alert & wakeful , though he still needed
more phototherapy treatment, and he was feeding more from the breast
& less down his NGT. It was still 2 wks though before they were
happy for his tube to be removed & he was transferred to the post
natal ward. We spent another 3 days there as it was decided he needed
yet more phototherapy.
When we got home from the hospital we were both in the swing of
things though he did have to be wakened quite often for feeds &
always fell asleep at the breast. He was soon gaining weight & my
confidence in my ability to nurture him grew & grew.
In the end Ben & I breastfed till he was one yr old when we were
both happy to stop. I am so glad I stuck to my decision to breastfeed
& give my baby a great start in life. It was very hard in the beginning
but the thought of making up a bottle at 3 in the morning didn't
appeal much! In the long run I found it very easy, no shopping for
formula, washing, sterilising or making up bottles though I did
express so I could have the occasional afternoon/evening out. My
son is now a healthy 2yrs & 3mths & we are expecting twins in July.
I know it's not going to be easy this time either but I hope to
breast feed them exclusively for the first few weeks then probably
supplement with formula. I would encourage any pg mum to give breastfeeding
a go. You'll never get the same feeling of closeness & satisfaction
from bottle feeding.
Cabbage leaves in my bra
Hazel Gordon's first birth during the festive season was to
the tune of 'Do they know it's Christmas'! Her daughter arrived
effortlessly but breastfeeding was to prove a much harder task.
My baby was born 2 weeks early on a frosty Sunday morning ; 19th
December 2004. Her expeditious arrival in the back of a moving ambulance
- to the tune of sirens and "Do they know it's Cristmas" on the
radio - seemed effortless. We named our beautiful daughter Katie
May. She weighted 6lb 13oz. There was never any question about breast
feeding. My late Mum had breasted fed, as had several friends. It
looked so easy and I assumed that because I bloomed during pregnancy
and sailed through labour, I would be a natural. Reality was different.
Midwives in the Princess Royal Maternity hospital were so supportive,
especially Jan & Ann. I offered Katie the breast immediately. A
couple of girls in the ward were breast feeding, too, and we sat
around chatting, feeding our babies until the early hours. It was
such a nice atmosphere that I was encouraged, even though Katie
only sucked a short time then fell asleep for most of the day. At
nights she screamed to be fed, refusing to settle unless latched
to my nipple. Day became night and I was exhausted by the time I
went home from hospital.
When my milk came in, I suffered painful engorged breasts. At the
recommendation of my community midwife, my husband went out at 10pm
to get a breast pump to relieve the discomfort - thank goodness
for 24 hour Tesco ! Katie was still very clingy and wanted to suckle
all night long. My husband and I saw in the New Year together in
bed with Katie, still feeding ! The pain of engorgement and a blocked
duct seemed endless and my nipples became cracked and sore. Everyone
laughed when I put cabbage leaves in my bra, but all I wanted to
do was cry !
After the festivities, my husband went back to work. I would sit
all day with Katie at my breast. One hour on the breast, then I
took her off. She usually cried straight away and I'd give her an
hour on the other side. Some days it was so painful to latch her
on that I was in tears. On and on …. Until she eventually fell asleep.
The weather was awful so some days I didn't even manage to go out
for a walk. The physical and emotional strain was immense. But,
somehow I didn't want to give up as I firmly believed 'Breast is
Best'.
Some weeks later the health visitor invited me to a breast feeding
support group. It was very intimate and informal. We were recommended
to use Lansinoh cream to sooth sore nipples. I had advice about
positioning and attachment. It was also a chance to have a coffee,
chat and share experiences. Katie is now happy and healthy at sixteen
weeks old. Her dad gives a bottle of expressed milk every now and
again, which helps her to settle, especially at bedtime. I love
my daughter to bits - and I'm still breast feeding !
From Trauma To Triumph!
When Nicola Henderson took her baby boy home he was 90 per cent
formula-fed. But with a lot of support from her husband and health
visitor she turned the situation round.
After an emergency caesarean, my son Michael having to be monitored
in the neo-natal unit for 3 days and a total stay in hospital for
us of 11 days I think it's a miracle that I managed to persevere
to establish breastfeeding at all, never mind that 7 months later
I am still breastfeeding.
The separation did not do me any favours, and it was 5 days before
my milk came in. I remember using the hospital breast pump regularly,
and sometimes not even managing to produce 1oz. One of the worst
moments was when it had taken me ages to hand express some colostrum
into a syringe which I was to feed Michael with, only to accidentally
squirt it out onto his clothes. I could have cried! ( in fact I
think I did)…dark days indeed. But it went downhill from there when
Michael lost too much weight and the paediatrician recommended formula
feeding. So when we came home Michael was about 90% formula fed.
But with a lot of support from my husband and health visitor, and
a LOT of determination on my part I slowly managed to turn the situation
around. With Michael being a big baby at 9lbs 7oz when he was born
he had big appetite, which I wasn't prepared for. My inexperience
meant that I wasn't feeding him enough to start with, so the first
few weeks at home his weight gain was minimal. As you can imagine
this caused feelings of doubt and guilt in me. It was only when
my health visitor said, "If Michael even blinks try feeding him"
that this improved. The only thing was he blinked a lot! This in
turn led to what felt like hours on end breastfeeding.
When Michael was about 12 weeks we turned a corner, feeds were
taking less time, and the convenience when out and about (or at
home) can't be beaten. He has regularly put on 10ozs in a week,
and is a very healthy and happy baby. I am so glad that I persevered
with breastfeeding, as I know it is the best thing for Michael's
health now and in the longer term too. Not to mention that it is
good for my health also.
Where to next?
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