1|2 What went wrong?Since the day your darling first came into the world, you have been gently, subconsciously instilling manners into her: a little 'please' here and a 'thank you' there. And then what does your angel do? Pulls down her pants and moons in a crowded tea room, squealing in delight at the horrified looks of the ladies who lunch who are witnessing the scene. Has your daughter been sneaking downstairs and watching teenage toilet humour films? Where did it all go wrong? Embarrassing, annoying and outright unbelievable as some toddler antics may seem, most are completely normal. We take a look at some of the most common nasty habits and how to deal with them while staying sane. Biting (1-2.5 years old)Some children are keener on having a nibble on human flesh than others but the good news is (a) they're not vampires (b) it usually passes by the time they are 30 months old and (c) it can be dealt with effectively. What to do: If your child keeps doing it, bites viciously or ignores your warnings, then a time out is in order. Distraction is also a useful tool. Nose picking (1-101!)Why do all children insist on digging around in their nose and eating it? Disgusting! Yet a completely universal nasty habit, occurring in toddlers worldwide. This tendency can be attributed to boredom and tiredness; think how many adults have you seen doing the same thing at a traffic light?! Some older children will also indulge themselves in this pastime when they realise it gets a strong reaction from their parents - so be warned! What to do: Head-banging (1-2 years)Head-banging normally forms part of a tantrum, particularly with young toddlers. While you may worry that they will split their heads open on the floor, most child experts doubt that any damage will occur. "They are usually careful to seek out the surface with the greatest noise potential and lowest pain-inflicting factor," Dr Green reveals. Children aren't as dumb as we sometimes think they are either. They soon realise that self-inflicted pain is a pretty stupid way of getting their parents back. What to do: Holding their breath and vomiting on demand (18 months - 4 years)Fortunately these two types of behaviour are quite unusual in children, but they do occur, normally when kids are so annoyed that their demands are simply not being met that they decide extreme measures are in order. In the case of the first, your toddler simply refuses to breathe until they eventually pass out. In the case of the second, the child somehow easily manages to self-induce vomiting, normally as a protest to time out. What to do: Child experts stress that no attention should not given to a child practising this particularly manipulative technique - if you make a fuss, you'll get a repeat performance. Dr Spock, in his book Baby and Child Care reassures that, "Most breath-holding spells occur between one and three years, and stop happening by the time the child starts nursery… [they] do not cause brain damage." As for vomiting on demand - again non-emotional reaction is key. Green advises that you calmly take them into the bathroom and shut the door while you clean up, so they can't see that you're upset. Then clean them up and put them back in the cot, without expressing any emotion and without giving them any attention. Playing with their privates (6 months upwards)Most children play with their private parts as soon as they discover their fingers, toes and genitals. There is nothing sexual about it; they are simply enjoy the pleasant feelings it generates! From 18 to 30 months, they start becoming aware of how boys and girls are different anatomically. From three years upwards, children will start masturbating occasionally, often when they are bored, tired or anxious. What to do: Dr Green suggests diversion. "It is probably more realistic to gently divert the offending hand or interest the child in something more sociable." Potty mouth (pre-school up)It's easy to forget that our children are like sponges, particularly where language is concerned. Upon hearing a juicy expletive (accidentally muttered by mum or dad or shouted by a foul-mouthed teenager) they will retain this for future use, normally in a setting that guarantees maximum embarrassment for you. Very young children have no idea what the offending words mean, just that they get a superb reaction from the adults around them (and indeed from delighted playmates who then repeat them). What to do: Whining (3 years up)Nothing can demoralise a parent as much as constant whining. As Dr Green states, it is "equal in potency to the Chinese water torture". Again, how much or how little a child indulges in this varies from one individual to another but how we react is key to whether things get better… or worse. What to do: If you are being severely tested, it's time for a time out. If all these fail, try a new environment to keep yourself sane and your child distracted! And the rest…There are so many bad habits out there you'd need a website to cover them all! We have had tales of streaking in public, demanding to use the phone, smearing poo over walls, interrupting every conversation you try to have with an adult… the list is a very long one. The same rules apply to most bad habits: ignore the minor stuff and issue a firm but calm reprimand, or a time out, for the bigger issues. Finally, it's worth bearing in mind that all these unpleasant habits normally are indicative of a developmental stage: take heart that your child probably will grow out if it! 1|2 | |||||||
