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"My toddler (2 years old) won't eat. I know this is supposed to be normal and that the best thing I should do is ignore it but I can't help worrying when she refuses to touch anything at every meal - or else she throws it everywhere! I try to cook nice, healthy meals and, when she was younger, she would eat anything, so why won't she do this now? Apparently she does eat well at nursery so is she refusing to eat to wind me and my husband up? It's all very well people saying not to worry but of course I want her to eat a balanced, healthy diet - or even anything!" Mary
I know how frustrating this can be but it is perfectly normal for children to go through periods of saying they dislike something even if they loved it the day before. It is often due to their growing independence. This is why toddlers often go though periods of being fussy with what they eat.
Children are very good at regulating their food intake and, as long as she is having healthy food at nursery, I wouldn't worry too much about this. As long as your child is healthy and growing well, chances are she is getting pretty much what she needs.
The secret with this is to not give her refusal to eat too much attention. Your daughter realises that you cannot make her eat and, once this becomes a battle, she sees that this increasingly as an area that she has control over in.
What I would suggest is to involve your child in the preparation of her food. Even small children can help by getting items out of cupboards and sitting next to you when you cook. Talk to her about what you are buying at the supermarket and get her excited about helping you out.
Make sure she is hungry when it is time to eat. If she has been snacking all day she won't be interested in the meal you are serving.
Limit the choices at mealtimes and simply ask her to eat what she wants and leave what she doesn't. Include at least one thing you know she likes. Make meal times as enjoyable and relaxed as possible and sit down and eat with your child.
If your daughter refuses to eat anything, calmly take the plate away without a fuss. If she comes back later hungry tell her that she had been offered dinner but she decided she didn't want it. Don't make her something else - just offer her something simple like a piece of fruit and tell her that next time you would like her to eat her dinner.
Don't worry, your daughter will not starve and she will eat if she is hungry! The secret is to not make food a battle ground - keep it relaxed and stress free.
Meet
Debbie Lewis
Debbie is a specialist parent coach who regularly contributes on parenting issues to national and regional media including Channel 5's Trisha Goddard Show. Debbie runs Curve Coaching providing life coaching, parent coaching and professional training and has worked for over ten years with adults and children in a broad range of jobs including nanny, consultant, social worker and running parenting groups. Debbie Lewis is a registered member of The Parenting and Education Support Forum, The General Social Care Council, an NLP Practitioner and accredited life coach.
Where to next?
- More answers to your parenting questions
- What a parenting coach could do for you
- Toddler driving you mad? Talk to other mums in the same boat!
