Romance after baby?
If you've recently given birth, then romance and lovemaking are
probably the last things on your mind. But Valentine’s Day is
looming so take time out to renew your relationship.
Communication is the key to keeping your partnership alive and what
better time than this to re-arouse old affections and passions? If
you've previously enjoyed Sunday morning lie-ins, cuddles and chat over
a cuppa, you're likely to find your routine severely disrupted. But it
doesn't have to be like that! Vow to have your lie in, even if baby
comes, too! As it falls on a weekday, use Valentine’s evening for
a decent meal, glass or two of wine, and even a family bath. Time to
congratulate yourselves on the great job you're both doing!
Resolutions
If New Year passed you by in a blur, make a Valentine’s Day
Resolution that you’ll take time to refresh your relationship
with each other.
If you’ve never been keen on Valentine gestures, now
may just be the time to start.
 Take a tip from Jill Warren, 39, from
Bath, mother to six-month-old Martha who has, with husband Joe,
already managed to return to heady romantic pre-baby days by
communicating mutual needs and sharing the baby care. Somehow, Jill and
Joe managed to get back into a loving routine which didn’t
require red roses or flutes of champagne, but simply time out and
mutual consideration.
"To begin
with I could not imagine feeling attractive enough to be romantic ever
again, and was far too absorbed in Martha to care about that, anyway. We
used to gaze at her and only occasionally remember to look at each
other. When Joe came home from work I would 'offer him the chance' to
change and play with her while I lay in the bath for as long as I could.
Whenever we had time to ourselves we just waved from opposite ends of
the sofa and fell asleep.
"When Martha was nine weeks old, I enrolled on a creative
writing course to refresh my brain. I came back from classes all
sparkly and pleased with myself, to find Joe and Martha cuddling each
other – a man who loves his baby is very attractive. Every Thursday we
found we were impressed with each other all over again and started to
have the kind of conversations we'd had when we first got together.
"Women who’ve just had babies need some time to themselves. It
was only two hours a week for me, but enough to make me feel human
again. Now, six months on, I am pregnant with the next baby and have
definitely started to find romance worthwhile again!"
Rekindling the passion
February 14th heralds a great opportunity to rekindle your sexual
relationship; the romantic film in front of the fire, soft music and
chocolates may be clichés but they can help create the relaxed
atmosphere which helps you to get physical once again. For
48-year-old Elaine Forth, of Middlesborough, mum to Oliver aged five, pre
baby loving wasn't so forthcoming, but physical contact was a rekindling
point and helped rejuvenate her relationship with husband, Dave.
"I think you have to try and remember that this is the man that
you love and that there is comfort and reassurance in sex, so although
the actual desire might be dormant there's nothing wrong with giving
that reassurance. It's like preparing a nice meal for him – although
you've lost your appetite, you can still enjoy a morsel and get
satisfaction from his enjoyment. It might not be the best sex ever,
but it will be appreciated and next time, who knows?"
Where to next?
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