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A survival guide for parents of multiples: 
how to cope during the first year

Having twins, triplets or more is a wonderful but exhausting experience. Linda Jones, mum to Emily and Melissa, shares her survival strategies...

For the first year I lurched from one day of feeding, changing, winding, and more nappy changing to the next. The only way to make sense of the chaos is to organise yourself. Try and establish a routine quickly and stick to it. 

 

Share the work

Recognise that caring for multiples takes up a lot of energy. If one parent is at home and the other goes out to earn a living, remember you are both "working". Neither parent should be expected to deal with the nights alone.

Don’t let crying get to you

Don’t let crying get to you: take time out if needs be. When you go back to the babies after a few moments, they may have stopped or cried themselves to sleep. If things get really bad, contact Tamba’s Twinline on 01732 868000.

Rest

Get as much rest as you can, if the children are napping, grab some sleep too. Accept any offers of help - don’t take it all on yourself. Mary-Clare Devlin, mum to Jonathan and Anthony, 22 months advises: "Save yourself the hassle of getting to the clinic, ask the health visitor to come to you."

Remember what your answerphone is for and keep it switched on at all times when you really don’t want to be interrupted - while you are feeding, changing or bathing the babies, or taking a well-earned rest.

Twin clubs

Find out about local twins clubs. Joanne Rider, mum of Louie and Beccy, now two, says: "It’s great to go somewhere you can relax and not be the centre of attention because you have twins."Also, it’s worthwhile finding what Tamba, the Twins and Multiple Births Association can offer as well as its Twinline. Director Ruth Stone explains: " We have a wealth of shared experience which we pass on to our members. And we have negotiated a series of discounts on a wide range of goods."

Prioritise

Relegate housework to the bottom of your priorities. Keep chores to a minimum - and don’t feel bad about it. Keep your buggy and changing bag somewhere easily accessible. Don’t worry about tidying them away. Try to keep a supply of nappies, wipes and cotton wool upstairs and downstairs.

Avoid comparisons

Never compare your babies to each other or to the children of other mothers you know. As Marieke Piggott, mum to Sam and Tom, now aged four, says: "Every baby is different, even those born on the same day." And Helen Forbes, mum of Molly and Lucy, now five, adds: "Whatever you do, don't compare your ability to cope with other mums - they have no idea. But if they have a second baby, reality dawns."

Don't feel guilty

Don’t feel guilty if all gets too much for you sometimes. There will be times when you cry with exhaustion, but remember, there’s nothing better than having all those arms cuddling you at the same time. As Joanne Rider, says: "If you can get through the first year, you can get through anything. It really does get easier and when you see two contented toddlers babbling away to each other, you know it was all worth it."

And there’s more heartening guidance from Helen Forbes: "Enjoy your babies, savour every moment, take strength from when you get through a bad day, or even a bad hour, because it goes go by so quickly."

Finally, Jessica Foster, mum of Harriet and Thomas, 22 months, has the following sound advice: "Try to have some time without the babies each week - it will help keep you sane."

Where to next?