 A
survival guide for parents of twins
How to cope during the first year
Having twins, triplets or more is a wonderful but exhausting experience.
Linda,
mum to Emily and Melissa, shares her survival strategies...
For the first year I
lurched from one day of feeding, changing, winding, and more nappy changing to the next.
The only way to make sense of the chaos is to organise yourself. Try and establish a
routine quickly and stick to it.
Recognise that caring for multiples takes up a lot of energy. If one parent is at home
and the other goes out to earn a living, remember you are both "working".
Neither parent should be expected to deal with the nights alone.
Don’t let crying get to you: take time out if needs be. When
you go back to the babies after a few moments, they may have stopped
or cried themselves to sleep. If things get really bad, contact
Tamba’s Twinline on 0800 138 0509.
Get as much rest as you can, if the children are napping, grab some sleep too. Accept
any offers of help - don’t take it all on yourself. Mary-Clare Devlin, mum to
Jonathan and Anthony, 22 months advises: "Save yourself the hassle of getting to the
clinic, ask the health visitor to come to you."
Remember what your answerphone is for and keep it switched on at all times when you
really don’t want to be interrupted - while you are feeding, changing or bathing the
babies, or taking a well-earned rest.
Find out about local twins clubs. Joanne Rider, mum of Louie and Beccy, now two, says:
"It’s great to go somewhere you can relax and not be the centre of attention
because you have twins."Also, it’s worthwhile finding what Tamba, the Twins and Multiple Births
Association can offer as well as its Twinline. Director Ruth Stone explains: " We
have a wealth of shared experience which we pass on to our members. And we have negotiated
a series of discounts on a wide range of goods."
Relegate housework to the bottom of your priorities. Keep chores to a minimum - and
don’t feel bad about it. Keep your buggy and changing bag somewhere easily
accessible. Don’t worry about tidying them away. Try to keep a supply of nappies,
wipes and cotton wool upstairs and downstairs.
Never compare your babies to each other or to the children of other mothers you know.
As Marieke Piggott, mum to Sam and Tom, now aged four, says: "Every baby is
different, even those born on the same day." And Helen Forbes, mum of Molly and Lucy,
now five, adds: "Whatever you do, don't compare your ability to cope with other mums
- they have no idea. But if they have a second baby, reality dawns."
Don’t feel guilty if all gets too much for you sometimes. There will be times when
you cry with exhaustion, but remember, there’s nothing better than having all those
arms cuddling you at the same time. As Joanne Rider, says: "If you can get through
the first year, you can get through anything. It really does get easier and when you see
two contented toddlers babbling away to each other, you know it was all worth it."
And there’s more heartening guidance from Helen Forbes: "Enjoy your babies,
savour every moment, take strength from when you get through a bad day, or even a bad
hour, because it goes go by so quickly."
Finally, Jessica Foster, mum of Harriet and Thomas, 22 months, has the following sound
advice: "Try to have some time without the babies each week - it will help keep you
sane."
- Read about
Tamba's Double the Joy and Double the Trouble awards aimed at companies
who provide an excellent – or poor – service for families
with twins or more
- Click here
to read more information about twins, including why
twins occur, whether they will be
identical, coping with a twin
pregnancy and parenting
twins
- Read about returning to
work and childcare options for parents of twins, triplets or more
- Do you have two, three or more miracles? Visit babyworld's Twins
and multiples discussion forum for support from other parents
- Tamba,
the Twins and Multiple Births Association, can be reached at: 2 The
Willows Gardner Road Guildford GU1 4PG
- Tamba's Twinline: 0800 138 0509
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