We are family: twins and the family circle
Even before your twins arrive, if you
already have a child, you know things are going to be worlds apart from the first time
around. Linda Jones talks to some families about their
experiences.
Twin pregnancy
Diane Wyatt, mum to a four-year-old daughter, and 12 weeks pregnant with twins explains: "I have had stomach pains and a lot of sickness. As soon I went for my scan
and they said they had something to tell me, I knew they were going to say it was twins. A single pregnancy was nothing like this."
And, according to Julie Sack, who has five children, aged six, five, three and
six-month-old twins, looking after the other kids while getting so big and uncomfortable
can be a real struggle. But she says, "Once the twins were born, they slotted right in. We have our
chaotic moments but generally we are all comfortable. I think that letting the big kids be
involved is important. Teaching them to wait for drinks, food and attention while you are pregnant helps
for when you are busy feeding babies later."
Adjusting to the new arrivals
As you might expect, some older children react very well to having new babies in the
house, while others don’t. It is probably safe to assume that a toddler will be put out
by the arrival of two more babies – and you should take preventative action.
Helen Forbes, Communications Officer for TAMBA, says, "They may lapse into temper
tantrums, aggression, unhappiness or baby-like behaviour such as thumb sucking or asking
for a bottle. Make sure your older children are loved and cared for, even though the babies may
be attracting lots of attention and keeping you extra busy.
"You should try not to turn siblings’ lives and routines upside down. Set
aside some time just for them, perhaps when the babies are asleep. Don’t expect them automatically to want to get involved in bathing or
feeding the babies. Give them time to make up their minds and they will probably want to
help."
Gill MacFarlane gave birth to quads when her son Michael was seven. She says,
"Michael was as good as gold and helped as much as he could. But I still did not get a minute. Having four babies at one time made me realise
it was a privilege to have time at home with one baby."
Twice over
Asking some parents how their twins fit into the family raises a wry smile – as
they have not one set of twins but two. According to TAMBA, there is a one in 70 chance of having twins the first time around, and a one in 20 chance the second time.
While that may be a terrifying thought for many, mum Susan Johnson was delighted when
she was told she was expecting more twins when her first were still babes in arms.
"We knew we wanted more children and we wanted them straight away. We
were so happy when we were told we had another set of twins."
Holli Palleschi also had two sets of twins, 19 months apart. They are now teenagers and
have benefited from growing up in a loving and close-knit family. She says, "The second set fit in very well with the first. We included them in
everything,
including feeding and bathing their brothers. Now they are very close and look out for
each other."
Where to next?
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