 Who
are you looking at?
Linda Jones tell us about the (bonkers) things people say to parents
of twins, triplets and more...
"Double trouble eh? You’ve got your hands full!" Just
a few harmless words from an interested well-wisher to a mum or dad of
twins, right?
Wrong! These two short phrases can strike terror into the heart of any
parent of multiples – and make even the most mild mannered of mums want to lash out.
Yes, I know they are only meant in a kindly, inquiring sort of way – it’s just
we’ve heard them a million times before. When you have twins, it’s like living
in a goldfish bowl: you feel special, but wherever you go, somebody is watching you.
Now an Australian twins club has compiled a list of the silliest things people say to
parents. It posted a message on a specially-targeted Internet newsgroup and were snowed
under with responses from fed up families. These included "Are they all yours?", "Are they your
husband’s?" and "I’m glad it’s you and not me!"
Some parents recalled curious passers-by pointing and saying: "How did you manage
that?" While others complained they were told: "If I were you, I’d kill
myself."
That old chestnut...
Then there’s the old chestnut "Why
don’t you dress them alike?" and the rather rude "Good thing you stopped at
two."
I find it hard to believe but I have honestly been asked "Which one is your
favourite?" and "Which one is good and which one is bad?" Those clichéd
old movies and soaps with an evil twin storyline obviously have a lot to answer for.
Other gems on the list included "Did you use drugs?" "Are they
natural?" or, referring to IVF treatment "Did you cheat to get them?"
Personally I have twice been asked whether my girls, Emily and Melissa, were the result
of fertility treatment. One woman (a midwife) asked me "Was it an assisted
pregnancy?" To which I replied: "Is there any other type?"
The Canadian newsletter Double Feature recently printed a top ten of 'dumb
questions asked teen twins'.
These included: "Am I seeing double?" "Do you have the same
birthday?" and "Are you psychic?"
Top of my own list comes: "Are they twins?", closely followed by the
irritating "Is it a boy and a girl?" – however pink or frilly their outfits
are.
And then, of course, there’s "Which one’s oldest?" – who
actually cares? Not me, that’s for sure, when you consider there’s a huge 11
minutes between them. And in the supermarket, there’s always: "Did you buy one
and get one free?"
Jenny Wilson, mum of David and Iain, aged two, says she has been asked "I know
they are a boy and a girl," (when they are obviously not) "...but are they
identical?"
Marieke Piggott, mum to four-year-old Sam and Tom says she has been asked the following
over the years: "Are you breastfeeding?", "How were they born?",
"Who's your favourite?", "Which one is the clever one?" and "Did
you do it for the child benefit?"
However, I should point out I would actually be devastated if nobody showed an interest
in my children. Just today a woman stopped me and said my daughters "looked like two
little angels"...and I felt on top of the world.
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