 Pregnancy after abortion
Having an abortion brings its own set of issues to deal with, but
what happens when, often years later, you do start a family? We talk to a mum about the
difficult emotions stirred up at this time, and an expert shares just how
common this situation can be...
Elaine's story
Gazing lovingly at her one-year-old son Cameron as he sleeps soundly
in his cot, Elaine Howe says she’s happier than she’s ever been.
Like any mum, she reckons her little boy is the light of her life.
But for Elaine, Cameron is extra-special – because for the past nine
years she had feared she could never have kids.
Nine years ago, when she was 19, Elaine had an abortion. And
she has been racked with guilt ever since, believing the operation had
somehow spoilt her chances of ever having a family.
She says: "Even now I remember the day of the operation as if it
was yesterday. I believe for me it was the right thing to do at the
time, but that has not stopped me wondering what might have been and
fretting about whether I would ever conceive again.
"When I found out I was expecting Cameron, I cried with joy. The
last time I was pregnant, it was the result of a one-night stand. This
time I was in a stable relationship and had always known I wanted
children with Cameron’s father.
"But that did not stop me worrying. All sorts of feelings I
thought I had long buried were awakened. I remembered how I had gone off
tea and coffee and developed a craving for a certain type of sweet.
"More worrying than that I began to fear something would happen
to the baby. I thought that as I had not carried a baby to full-term
last time, I would not manage it, or did not deserve to, now."
Elaine says she also found medical appointments difficult as at each one
she was asked whether this was her first pregnancy.
She says: "Despite never telling my family about my experience I
had to keep repeating I had an abortion when I was 19. My mum attended
one scan with me and I had to ring up beforehand to ask could they
please not mention it."
What the experts say
According to Ann Furedi of the British Pregnancy Advisory Service,
Elaine’s experience is not uncommon. But she says women
who have terminated one pregnancy should be reassured that they have
every chance of conceiving again.
There were 173,701 terminations performed on women resident in
England and Wales last year. And according to statistics, almost 40 per
cent of women in this country will choose to end a pregnancy at some
time. Out of those most will go on to have a fulfilling family life.
Ann says: "Women may fear something may have gone wrong during
the procedure or can feel guilty, both leading to worries that they will
not be able to have children. But they should not worry.
"We offer post abortion counselling and a woman faced with these
particular circumstances may want to talk to her GP about it."
Ann said that although the feelings women experience during pregnancy after abortion had
been compared, by some experts, to those experienced by women who had
suffered a miscarriage, it was impossible to generalise.
She said: "Someone who has had a miscarriage may feel anxious
because she does not know why her pregnancy ended, a woman who chose to
end it knows she did it deliberately.
"However, when she has a wanted pregnancy, she has to face up to
all sorts of feelings and emotions that she did not face before. This
may lead to guilt and insecurity.
"The most important message to get across is one of reassurance, as Elaine’s now happy experience has shown."
Where to next?
- If you feel need of support why not visit our feeling
down forum where there's always a friendly welcome whether you want
a sounding board or a shoulder to cry on.
- Click here for a list of
support groups that offer help and counselling to
those experiencing physical and emotional difficulties after an
abortion.
- Read more features
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