 
From manager to mum
You're a success in the business world, so motherhood
will be a breeze, right?
Not necessarily. Babies naturally bring with them disorder
and uncertainty to even the most organised and confident of women. Sam
Pope looks at how you can make the transition from full-time high flyer
to full-time family life easier.
Domestic Goddess? More like Domestos Goddess
Giving up a stressful career to look after children for a while might
initially seem attractive. While your well behaved baby sleeps, you can
catch up on all the reading you've missed out on or take up writing or
painting. When your angelic child is awake, you can do lunch with your
friends at the drop of a hat and shop for gorgeous baby clothes. And you
can perfect your cooking skills and turn into the next domestic goddess.
Unfortunately, for the first few months at least, you're more likely
to be a Domestos goddess! Countless mums will sympathise with your first
experience of trying to get out of the house in time to meet with friends,
only to be suddenly presented with a humungous nappy to change or baby
sick on a pristine outfit! It is definitely hard when you are used to
being in control to accept that your life is now in the tiny hands of
your new baby … and that things often do need to change at the last minute
to cater to their needs.
However, everyone will also swear that the hard graft and broken sleep
are worth it when you are rewarded with your first smile, your first giggle.
Babies develop at an amazing speed and, even within the space of a week,
you will often notice differences in their ability to do things. Being
around someone who is changing so much and in such a fascinating way has
got to be more interesting than replying to admin emails and reading boring
reports. And who else can you make funny faces at and sing silly songs
without worrying about being sacked?! The more expressive you are the
better as a mum so don't worry about keeping a stiff upper lip - enjoy
the personal freedom a baby can deliver!
From boss to baby …. to boss
If you had a boss before you definitely have a new boss now - but this
time it's your baby. If you were the boss before, prepare to have your
position challenged!
Babies are quite basic creatures, needing food, sleep, changing and
stimulation in varying quantities throughout the day and night. When one
of their needs isn't being met, they cry to let you know. They have no
concept of waiting, of presenting their needs in a mutually agreeable
fashion or of phrasing their communication tactfully. If they were capable
of such civility it might mean they didn't get what they wanted straight
away - and that's the key to their survival!
The clue to success here is the fact that you LOVE this boss. Their demands
are actually not unreasonable (even though, at 3am, they may seem outrageous).
They are based on survival, not on profit margins or climbing a career
ladder. And they are more dependant on you than your team of minions in
the workplace - and infinitely more loving in return. Can a smile from
a work colleague make your heart melt? Didn't think so.
Granted, the inevitable crying and incessant demands can become wearing.
You can, however, use the skills you honed in the workplace to make life
run a little smoother in the home, as Roni Jay, publisher of White Ladder
Press and author of Kids & Co, emphasises. "Mentally substitute the crisis
for the kind you used to have at work - a screaming customer or boss demanding
action now, for example, or an IT crash - and then think how you would
handle that and try to apply the same process here."
Bored meetings
When working adult interaction is common. Colleagues and clients can
reinforce your confidence and help you to put work-related challenges
into perspective.
Who will do this for you when you are a full-time mum? It will take some
effort to meet up regularly but the support and friendship are well worth
the effort, although it may take some time to find the right group or
same form of stimulation!
If you used to meet for civilised lunches with your girlfriends in trendy
wine bars. Now you're more likely to visit mums and babies groups in village
halls.
Some women enjoy these groups and make excellent new friends. They provide
you with a chance to meet other women who are in the same position as
you, who will be able to laugh and commiserate with you over sleepless
nights and teething problems (yours and your baby's!). Through them, you
may hear of other fun activities such as baby swimming, baby massage and
music sessions.
However, it's also important to get out and about with old friends and
enjoy outside interests. It's part of staying sane. A meal out with your
old girlfriends or a drink or trip to the cinema can bring some light
relief and help remind you that you do exist in another capacity apart
from being a mum!
On a daily basis, you can find escapism and in gossip magazines that
show stick-thin celebrities' cellulite. Promise yourself that you'll go
out somewhere, even just for a walk in the park, every day. Walking is
fantastic exercise that you and your baby will benefit from, even if it's
into town to look at the latest collection at Hobbs. A trip to a nice
café gives you a decent cup of coffee or tea, plus a new setting should
provide your baby with stimulation and interest.
Roni Jay also recommends the following. "If you crave stimulating and
challenging ideas and conversation, keep your brain above baby or toddler
level by chatting to friends, but impose a ban on talking about babies.
Even just listening to Radio 4 or doing the crossword or sudoku puzzles
can help keep your brain active and focusing on other subjects than children."
Baby business skills
All those years you spent in business will not go to waste now you're
at home with your baby. You have gained transferable skills which can
be put to good in your most important job ever - as a mum! "Skills like
motivation, negotiating, team building etc don't really come in until
your child is at least at toddler stage," says Roni Jay. "However, personal
skills that are about you rather than your relationship with your baby
are really useful:
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