Getting your partner involved in pregnancy 

There's no shortage of information and advice to tell you what to expect during pregnancy, but what about your partner? How can you get him involved with your unborn child so that you are both as excited and elated when you finally give birth?

• attend the scans
• attend antenatal classes
• talk to the bump
• nest-build
• read material
• attend the birth
• where to next?

Attend the scans

Firstly, the father should attend the initial scan with their partner, says Jack O'Sullivan, co-founder of Fathers Direct, the national information centre for fatherhood, promoting close and positive relationships between men and their children.

"This is the time when parents are coming to terms with the pregnancy and the scan is the first opportunity to see that the baby is really on the way. The mother can feel the change in her body but to the father it's not obvious for some time. The scan bridges that gap."

Attend antenatal classes

Fathers should also attend antenatal classes or join an NCT group, which will be both educational and sociable, O'Sullivan suggests. You should be able to find at least one evening class that your partner can attend.

"Joining a class is very helpful because you learn quite a lot but, most importantly, for a couple of hours a week the two of you go there because you are going to become parents and it gives you the chance to focus on it and speak to other dads about it. This makes the man realise that he's not on his own. I went to an NCT class and found it very useful."

Talk to the bump

Talking to the bump, stroking it and massaging it can all bring the father closer to his unborn child, he adds.

"Research shows that babies recognise their fathers' voices just as much as their mothers' voices. A father's voice is just as important. It's good to talk to the bump and to stroke the bump, or anything which helps fathers have that sense of life-change."

Nest-build

Nest-building can also help fathers become more involved in the parenthood situation before the baby is born, says O'Sullivan.

"Some men redecorate the bedroom and plan some of the purchases for the new baby. It's great for the father to concentrate on things he can do to support the new arrival."

Read material

It is also important to read some baby material, although much is geared towards the mother-to-be. The Bounty Guide To Fatherhood is a free publication written by Fathers Direct which will give the prospective dad plenty of information about preparing for the birth. It is published by Bounty and is available by writing to Bounty Services Ltd, PO Box 3, Vinces Road, Diss, Norfolk IP98 1GH.

Attend the birth

And, of course, you can make sure your partner is present during the birth if you both want him to be. The largest ever survey of new fathers showed in September 2000 that 96% of men attend the birth of their child.

"It's so important to be there because it's a life-changing event, says O'Sullivan. "Most men will say it was the most significant event in their lives and I think it makes the bond greater between father and child."

Where to next?

• Read up about antenatal classes on babyworld.
• For a male perspective on pregnancy read babyworld's diary of a dad-to-be.
• Visit our section just for dads for all the essential information and talk to other dads in our Fatherhood discussion forum.
• See more babyworld features.