 Co-sleeping
Mum
Sharon Burchill will tonight face a battle to get her one-year-old
daughter to sleep in her cot. Every night since baby Cerys was born, she
has refused to sleep alone.
Most nights Cerys ends up in the parental bed with Sharon while dad
Jason sleeps in another room at their Bristol home. It is not what they
planned, but the scenario is becoming more common as parents struggle to
get a decent night's sleep.
Studies have shown that 56 per cent of toddlers aged between one and
two wake one night per week, 24 per cent wake between two and four
nights and 20 per cent wake between five and seven nights per week. And
of this group, 10 per cent are considered to have a severe problem.
Sleep clinics
It is now such a common complaint that most health authorities have
specialists trained in dealing with sleep problems and many operate
"sleep clinics" to help parents.
Jane Onyett, childhood clinical psychologist at the pre-school clinic
at the University Hospital of Wales in Cardiff, said: "Parents get
to a point where enough is enough. It is not uncommon for parents not to
sleep well when the baby is in bed and often one parent gives up the
parental bed. That can go on for months, or maybe years. Parents are at
the end of their tether by the time they get to us."
A more natural approach
In the West, taking babies into the parental bed is generally frowned
upon, seen as spoiling them, making a rod for our own backs, letting
them control us. Since Victorian times, infants have been separated from
their mothers as early as possible, the idea being to get them used to
independence.
But putting a newborn baby into a crib to sleep alone is virtually
unique to our industrialised society. And, say advocates of a more
natural approach to parenting, it could be the very practice of
separating the newborn from her mother that is at the root of many of
these sleeping problems.
Deborah Jackson says in her book Three in a Bed: "Putting
an infant in a cot is against the law of evolved human nature."
Later, she continues: "Every child is different, but his needs are
universal. All he wants is the nurture of a mother - and given in
sufficient quantity, at an early enough age, he will grow up with
security, and with responsibility for himself." It's a controversial stance, but one that is growing in popularity.
The benefits
Child psychologist Penney Hames, who wrote The National Childbirth
Trust's Book of Sleep, said: "People often feel it is wrong
somehow to have their babies in bed - separating them early has become
institutionalised. But research suggests co-sleeping is beneficial. One
study in California showed babies were more protected co-sleeping during
the first four months of life."
She explained that one theory under investigation was that babies,
who naturally have pauses in their breathing, are attuned with the
mother and close contact brings their breathing into line, reducing the
risk of cot death.
Penney, the mother of Katy (11) and Richard (7), said she decided to
co-sleep when Katy was 16 months old. "We'd been up pacing the
floor every night, we were completely shattered. We saw the health
visitor and were told to try leaving her to cry for five minutes, then
10 minutes, etc, but we tried it for a few days and couldn't do it.
Maybe that's a message - it's your baby, you have to decide."
Is it dangerous?
Many parents however, worry they could be putting their babies in
danger by sleeping with them. But studies have shown that as long as the
mattress is firm, the parents do not smoke, have not consumed alcohol or
drugs, the baby is not sleeping on a pillow or under an adult duvet, and
the bedding is arranged so that it cannot slip over the baby's head,
there is no increased risk.
Indeed, in Eastern cultures, who begin with infants in the parental
bed and wean them out after a year or two, Sudden Infant Death Syndrome
is rare to non-existent.
Baby Cerys is now in her own room and her parents have spent several
months using the controlled crying technique. Sharon said: "We
don't like it but we've tried everything else. She does go to sleep on
her own now, but wakes up and she eventually comes into the big bed.
When she was tiny, she would only sleep lying on my chest. She's a very
loving, cuddly baby, so maybe it's a personality thing. I don't know
what else we can do."
Where to next?
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