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What
it means to be a mum
Being a mum can mean all sorts of different things to different
people. It is a unique experience and, therefore, evokes unique responses.
We asked babyworlders what motherhood meant to them.
"Would my baby ever smile at me the way theirs had?"
"One child on the breast, one on the hip, one on the way… all whilst
I was making jam on a Sunday afternoon. That was my idealised image of
motherhood. It really didn't happen that way! A long labour, emergency
Caesarean and unsuccessful attempts at breastfeeding left me feeling rather
useless as a mother and, on one particularly bad night in hospital, wanting
to walk away from this small person who'd made my last four days hell.
Fortunately I have an incredibly supportive husband!
"I remember when Grace was about two weeks old, friends came over with
their three-month-old. I held it together until they left then broke down.
Would my baby EVER be able to look me in the eye and smile as theirs had?
Would I ever feel the connection that was obviously felt between my friend
and her daughter? Grace's development seemed a world away and I couldn't
imagine making it to three months!
"Of course three months whizzed by and I was starting to get those gushing
feelings that I knew others had had earlier. By four months, I was healed
from the Caesarean and I'd accepted that expressing milk and formula feeding
Grace had been the right decision for us to make and I was starting to
feel 'normal' again.
"Now, 14 months on, I love motherhood and am broody for number two. It
hasn't been easy at all, particularly in those first few weeks. No amount
of preparation can truly prepare you for the impact a child makes on you;
both individually and as a couple.
"I've learnt a lot, though. Never say 'never': dummies, formula feeding,
early weaning, co-sleeping, Teletubbies: you name it! One of the main
things I've learnt is that life is too short for parenting to be competitive.
Who cares if Grace can't walk, talk or feed herself yet? Not me! I just
enjoy watching her learn and showing her how wonderful the world around
her can be."
"I never thought I would be a mum"
"I feel like as a modern mum, proud to have three precious darlings who,
in turn, confuse, confound, make me cross to the point where I am pulling
out my hair, and make me cry with laughter. Some days I would have it
another way but only on some days! I never thought I would be a mum and
never thought that it would matter so much too me. I was never the type
that everyone thought of as a 'mum' but now I am, and have been for the
last nine years, it is the most rewarding thing I have done, and ever
will do, in my whole life."
Jenny, mum to two boys (9 and 1) and one girl (5)
"The one thing in life I can be proud of is my daughters"
"For as long as I can remember, I have looked forward to the day I became
a mummy. And three children, later I still enjoy every single moment of
it! (Well, perhaps there are a few stressed moments, when I wish I were
on a beach somewhere and not washing dishes!).
"All sorts of people have all sorts of opinions on me having three children
at 25 and still wanting more. But I am a good mum and I rely on no one
else except my husband, so why on earth should I not have children, as
long as I can give them 100%?
"It has its hard days. I truly believe it is the hardest job in the world,
full of such responsibility especially in today's dangerous world. But
what other job is so full of rewards? There is also no other job in the
world where you would be expected to work 24 hours a day, seven days a
week with no holidays and no pay and yet I don't begrudge one little minute
of it.
"I do suffer from low self-esteem but the one thing in life I can be
proud of is my beautiful precious daughters."
Hayles, mum to Amelia (6), Olivia (4) and Georgia (3 months)
"I feel like the luckiest mum in the world"
"I feel like my heart's in my throat all the time, worried he might
bang his head if he rolls over or that he might get hold of something
he shouldn't. The worry never ends! Is he getting enough sleep, food and
drink? It's also hard to control the overpowering feelings of love when
he smiles at me when he's just woken up, when he does something for the
first time and when he looks at me and says 'mama'. I feel like the luckiest
mum in the world when he falls a sleep on me with his hand curled round
my finger."
tybeanie
"Nothing could prepare me for the huge rush of love"
"Being a mum is the best feeling in the world. I spent nine precious
months carrying my baby and the bond started there. Before he came into
this world, I knew I loved him so much. When he arrived, nothing could
prepare me for the huge rush of love I felt. It's amazing: every morning
that big gummy smile and beautiful blue eyes gaze lovingly at me. The
sleepless nights in the early days weren't so bad, it was a good excuse
to have a cuddle! Knowing my baby relies on me so much is a precious feeling.
Being a mum, is in one word, is beautiful."
Proud first time mummy to a handsome young man aged 6.5 months
"You know that angels really do exist"
"Like I'm losing my mind but am happy to do so (most of the time). Feeling
torn, like you're never good enough, never had enough sleep, never have
time to yourself. Having to be a nurse, teacher, chef, taxi driver and
referee and all for no pay… and that's just the start of it. But then
the baby smiles at you, the older daughter tells you you're the best because
you finally caught the spider that's been terrorising her in her room
for the last three days (even though she knows you're as afraid as she
is) and your son is proud that another school mum calls you to ask what
a vulgar fraction is! (I still don't know how I knew that!).
"Who else could make me love them so much one minute and be wishing I
was anywhere else here the next? Then you watch them sleeping and you
know that angels really do exist and you long for another miracle. There
really is no other job so demanding or rewarding as motherhood."
Gail, mum to Alex and Melia (9-year-old twins) and Dominic (6 months)
What
it means to be a mum
