Silly things our mums said

"Worse things happen at sea" and "If you pick your nose, you'll grow pigs trotters" are amongst the hilarious gems of advice, warning and (apparent) comfort our mums dished out to us as kids. Take a trip down memory lane to see how many of these expressions you recognise from your childhood and be honest: how many do you say to your kids now you're a mum?!

"My mum used to say 'If you don't eat your crusts, your hair won't curl' (I must have only done it 50/50 as my hair has a strong kink but no curl) and 'If you're not careful, your face will stay that way' if I made a face at her. I haven't said anything like this to my daughter as she's too young. Well, actually I say to her, 'You know what Nana used to tell me? That my hair would curl if I ate my crusts!' and then laugh, and she thinks that's pretty amusing. The only thing I have said to my daughter is that if she doesn't let us clean her teeth they will fall out... till the dentist said 'Er, what are you going to tell her when they actually DO fall out?!'. Ooops, I forgot about baby teeth..." Sam

"My mum used to say that if you picked a dandelion you'd wet the bed. I was terrified of picking them and never picked a single one all through my childhood. She also used to ask, 'Do you want a thick ear?' - like I'm going to say 'Yes please!'. Or 'Stop it! I won't say it again!'. Yes, result!" Anna

"'There are thousands of starving people in Africa' if I didn't eat my meal, and I do say to mine that there are plenty of children who'd be grateful for just half of their dinner. My nana was an 'eat your crusts to make your hair curl' woman too! I don't use that one though. When someone loses a tooth, I do say 'Have you been kissing the boys?!' which is one of my mother's old ones." Sandra

"I'm guilty of saying 'Have you been kissing the boys?' if my daughter loses a tooth. Or 'If you go any slower, you will stop'. She thinks this one's funny!" Andrea

"If any of us (me or my siblings) were naughty, my mum would say, 'We're not having a Christmas this year'. My Dad always said, 'I was a teenage know-it-all once' if he didn't agree with what we said." My husband has just told me that whenever he was naughty as a teenager, (however BIG or small) his mum would say, 'Do it again and I'll call the police'!" Anna

"If we were naughty in the evening, mum would say 'Dicky Dark will come and get you' to scare us. I am guessing she got it from her mum as granny still says it to the great grandchildren (and it works)." Donna

"If we wet the bed or spilt something, mum would always say, 'Worse things happen at sea'! Funny thing is, if my two-year-old niece wets her knickers, and I'm changing her, I always say the same to her. Even funnier, if she DOES wet herself, she comes up and says 'Ne mind!' as she knows that's what I'll say!" Marie

"'Stop picking your nose or your head will cave in.' Or 'Don't pull that face, the wind will change and you will be stuck like that'." Incredimadlisa

"Something I always swore blind I'd never say to my children, and yet I do, is: 'Because I said so' when they ask, 'Why?' after I've told them to do something. Such a lame reason." Ellie

"'If you unscrew your belly button your bum will fall off.' Eh?" Sandra

"My mum used to say to me when I was naughty, 'You wait till your dad gets home'. I did, and he always melted when I hugged him, much to my mother's disgust! I used to get, 'If you pull that face and the wind changes, you'll stick like it'. I used to stick my head out of the 14th floor of the flats we lived in at the time just to see if it would work. The most annoying is when she wanted to call me and my sister at the same time. I am Angela and my sister is Amanda, so she just used to say 'Mange'. How horrid is that? And the one I used to like most was, 'Don't speak to me that way'. Well, how would you like to speak to you then, in French?" ACluley

"I think the main one I remember is when we used to all be on at her, calling her 'Mum, mum, muuum, mum, mum' etc. She would say, 'That's it, I'm changing my name!'. I have to say my son does this to me now and I know why she said it!" Angela

"My mum used to always say 'Make sure you have clean underwear on in case you get run over by a bus'. HUH? If I had been run over, I think my knickers would be the last thing on my mind! Also, she told my brother that if he kept picking his nose then his brains would fall out." MadMich

"My mum used to say 'A blind man would be pleased to see that' if we complained of a tiny little scratch. I never understood that one and still don't. Also, 'That's cheap at half the price'." Alfene

"We were always told that if we didn't eat our carrots we wouldn't be able to see in the dark. Thankfully, these days, we have lightbulbs and electricity!" Sandie xx

"I used to hear a lot of the above and if I was being annoying my dad used to say 'Go paint the white lines on the motorway'! My gramps used to tell me if I ate all my crusts it would put hairs on my chest! I always used to say, 'But gramps, I don't want hairs on my chest!'." Hannah

"My grandma used to tell me if I swallowed chewing gum it would wrap itself around my heart and kill me. I swallowed some by accident one day and was terrified." Jan

"My mum and dad would both say, 'Don't come running to me if you break your leg' when I was doing something a bit daft and dangerous. It took me years to realise when they were always laughing as they said it. My mum also to say 'Go and wash your hands with wet water' like there is any other kind!" Spanner82

"If mum had made cakes or biscuits, she'd say, 'Don't touch them: they're not for eating'. What are you supposed to do with them then?! My sister-in-law, brother and mum still tell my children that they have to eat their crusts or their hair won't curl - bonkers." MBJOYCE

"My mum used to tell me to go and play with the traffic." Alison

"My mum was evil! She told me that if I swallowed an apple pip, an apple tree would grow inside me and the branches would poke out of my ears. And that if I drank my cherryade any faster than in small sips, that I would explode! I believed her! To this day I am very careful when I get down to an apple core (it's just habit now though, you understand!). And for YEARS I only sipped fizzy drinks in tiny little quantities at a time! Fairly recently, I told her that it was dreadful that she terrorised me in that way and she said the apple pip remark was a joke but that she really believed the comment about the fizzy drink because she read about someone in the paper that it had actually happened to!" ClareBlair

"When I was a kid, if I asked my mum for money she'd usually reply with, 'Who do you think I am, Baron Rothschild?'. I still don't know who that is!" Candice

"'Don't come running to me when you break your legs' was one of my mum's favourites. One thing she used to say when I was asking 'How long 'til dinner?' and if I could help, was 'The best you can do to help is to keep out of my way!'. I can understand this now!" Sue

"'If you pick your nose you'll grow pigs trotters!' And 'You must salute a magpie if you see one and say good morning!'." Joanna and Eleanor

"My mum is absolutely bonkers. If I was in the bath too long, she would say the 'Crinkley Dinkley Man' was coming to get me from the plughole and I'd look at my hands and feet and be petrified because they were going wrinkly. She made up a game for me to play in the bath to keep me still when she was washing my hair. She would give me a container and ask me to make her a magic potion with the bathwater, which she called 'Yagishooda'?! She still goes mad if anyone mixes up the knives and forks in the dish rack or drawer as, 'The knives will pick on the forks'!" Mommykate

Where to next?

• Never mind what our mums said to us, what about our toddlers? Read these hilarious toddler clangers!
• What crazy things do people say to parents of twins? Find out here…